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Rodney Dangerfield was the king of telling dumb jokes about his wife, a practice he got away with because his own ineptitude as a romantic partner usually made him the butt of the joke. But in the name of spreading the wealth, here are plenty of classic and contemporary comics joining Dangerfield in delivering spousal punchlines. Before you head to marriage counseling, take these dumb wife jokes — please…

1 Hasan Minhaj

“I recently got married. It was like a reverse Lord of the Rings situation where I got a ring and then I lost half of my power.”

2 Rodney Dangerfield

“My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.”

3 Nate Bargatze

“She put Life360 on my phone. That’s so they can track you even when they’re not near you. You might not even know you have it on your phone. It’s worse than what the government’s doing.

Chicago – I call him the Rosetta Stone of Show Business for the modern comedy era. Rob Smigel will appear in Chicago as the legendary Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at the Den Theatre Live on Monday June 3rd, 2024, with “Let’s Make a Poop,” featuring special guests and more! Get tickets and more info at Poop.

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog (voice of Rob Smigel) brings his celebrated game show “Let’s Make A Poop” to Chicago with celebrity panelists former (and disgraced) Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, Cubs legend Ryan Dempster, WGN Weatherman Paul Konrad and more surprises to come.

Let’s Make a Poop

Photo credit: TheDenTheatre.com

After years of toiling in the Catskills burying hookers for Henny Youngman, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog became an overnight national treasure after first appearing on “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” in 1997. He has famously pooped on the Westminster Dog Show,...

On May 5, 1979, the writers of Fantasy Island made a strange decision. After 35 successful episodes in which guests paid to live out dreams such as being a king, marrying a millionaire, finding the fountain of youth and having a harem, they offered viewers “The Comic,” in which a guy gets to be a stand-up.

Over the next decades, industries would rise to whisk money from middle-aged middle management in exchange for fulfilling their deepest wishes. They got to put on Dodger uniforms with their names on the back and practice grounders with Steve Garvey at baseball fantasy camps. Play guitar in a band with Roger Daltrey at rock fantasy camps. Get B-12 shots in their ass with Gwyneth Paltrow at the In Goop Health conference. Which makes sense. Because those things are fun. People spend their weekends in softball leagues, playing in bar bands with co-workers and getting detox massages. They...

As any critic will tell you, when you’re watching a comedy with an audience, it doesn’t matter how bad the movie is — even the jokes that are making you groan are going to provoke laughter. (That’s why comedies are always screened with a crowd; the studios want the audience giggles to rub off on you.) But at the Venice Film Festival, when I saw “The Palace,” Roman Polanski’s garish debacle of an ensemble comedy, I was sitting in the Sala Darsena, which seats 1400 (and was full), and on the rare occasion when a line in the movie got laughs, it was literally coming from about six people. I’m not sure if I’ve ever heard a giant theater this deadly silent for a movie that’s working this strenuously to amuse you.

Polanski, if you look back over his credits, has an astoundingly consistent track...

If you've never watched the 1981 Mel Brooks film "The History of the World, Part I," now is the time to do it. All these years later, a sequel series, "The History of the World, Part II," is hitting Hulu in March. Even if you haven't seen it, you've definitely heard people quote it, from the Torquemada musical number in The Spanish Inquisition segment to lines like, "It's good to be the king," and the "No, no, yes" song from Madeline Kahn. I feel pretty confident when I say that it's one of the funniest movies of all time, and I'm hardly alone in that sentiment.

"History of the World, Part I" is irreverent and absolutely stupid in the most wonderful way, and even after dozens of viewings, I still giggle to myself about parts of it whenever they cross my mind. Not only did Brooks write, direct, and star as Moses,...

There’s no getting around it: talking about representation in movies these days is a sticky, tricky subject. But is it Ok to admit that when Michelle Williams rattles off a “dahlink” to her brood and Anthony Hopkins instructs his grandson to “be a mensch” in his Welsh brogue, things are a little weird, nu?

There are many examples of what Sarah Silverman called “Jewface” on her podcast last year.

We’ve watched Adam Driver go hard in “BlacKkKlansman” and Rachel Brosnahan bring that shiksa sparkle to “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.” In “Shiva Baby,” the biggest surprise is that Dianna Agron is Jewish and Rachel Sennott is not. There’s also Steve Carrell in “The Patient,” Rachel McAdams in “Disobedience,” Felicity Jones in “On the Basis of Sex,” almost everyone in “Transparent,” Oscar Isaac in “Scenes from a Marriage,” Helen Mirren in “Golda,” and Daniel Craig in “Defiance.”

As a...

Directors James Lee Hernandez and Brian Lazarte discuss the movies that inspired them while making The Big Conn.

Show Notes: Movies Referenced In This Episode

The Big Lebowski (1998)

Boogie Nights (1997)

Saturday Night Fever (1977)

Happiness (1998)

World’s Greatest Dad (2009)

Windy City Heat (2003)

Ocean’s 11 (1960)

Ocean’s Eleven (2001)

Pulp Fiction (1994)

Reservoir Dogs (1992)

Bad Boys (1995)

Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)

Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)

Munich (2005)

Fargo (1996)

Catch Me If You Can (2002)

Delicatessen (1991)

The Young and Prodigious T.S. Spivet (2013)

The Hole (2009) – Joe Dante’s U.S. trailer commentary, Joe Dante’s Italian trailer commentary, Joe Dante’s British trailer commentary, Dennis Cozzalio’s review

Dial M For Murder (1954) – Mark Pellington’s trailer commentary

Jaws 3D (1983)

Cave Of Forgotten Dreams (2010)

Katy Perry: Part of Me (2012)

U2 3D (2008)

The Pink Panther (1963) – Dan Ireland’s trailer commentary

Goodfellas (1990) – Allan Arkush’s trailer commentary

Children of Men (2006)

The Imposter (2012)

Other Notable Items

The Big Conn podcast (2022)

The Big Conn docuseries (2022)

Bronzeville...

Louie Anderson, the veteran comedian, game show host and three-time Emmy winner, has died. He was 68.

The Baskets star died Friday morning in Las Vegas, where he had entered hospital this week for treatment of diffuse large B cell lymphoma, a form of cancer, his longtime publicist Glenn Schwartz told Deadline.

A constant presence on stage and screen since the mid-1980s, Anderson won the 2016 Emmy for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series for his role as Christine Baskets, the mother of the Zach Galifianakis-portrayed Chip and Dale on the FX series. The actor was nominated in the category over three consecutive years starting in 2016 for his Baskets performance. Anderson also won two Daytime Emmys for Outstanding Performer in an Animated Program for Fox’s Life with Louie in 1997 and 1998.

According to Schwartz, Anderson, one of 11 children, was a counselor to troubled children before launching his comedy career...

The former head of the ACLU discusses some of the movies – and sports legends – that made him.

Show Notes: Movies Referenced In This Episode

Mighty Ira (2020)

The Jackie Robinson Story (1950)

42 (2013)

Shane (1953)

Panic In The Streets (1950)

Last Year At Marienbad (1962)

The Seventh Seal (1957)

La Strada (1954)

Wild Strawberries (1957) – Allan Arkush’s trailer commentary

The Virgin Spring (1960) – Glenn Erickson’s Blu-ray review

The Last House On The Left (1972) – Darren Bousman’s trailer commentary

A Walk In The Sun (1945) – Glenn Erickson’s review

Paths Of Glory (1957) – George Hickenlooper’s trailer commentary, John Landis’s trailer commentary

All Quiet On The Western Front (1930) – Ed Neumeier’s trailer commentary

Lonely Are The Brave (1962)

Casablanca (1942) – John Landis’s trailer commentary

On The Waterfront (1954) – John Badham’s trailer commentary

12 Angry Men (1957)

Inherit The Wind (1960)

Judgment At Nuremberg (1961)

Witness For The Prosecution (1957)

Anatomy of a Murder (1959)

The Verdict (1982)

Twelve Angry Men teleplay (1954)

The Front (1976)

Judgment At Nuremberg teleplay...

Amazon Women on the Moon

Blu ray

Kino Lorber

1987 / 85 Min. / 1:85

Starring Lots of Actors

Cinematography by Daniel Pearl

Directed by Joe Dante, Carl Gottlieb, Peter Horton, John Landis, Robert K. Weiss

Mark Twain said “If you don’t like the weather in New England now, just wait a few minutes.” That applies just as well to 1987’s Amazon Women on the Moon, John Landis’s unofficial sequel to Kentucky Fried Movie and the bastard child of Joe Dante and Jon Davison’s The Movie Orgy. Like those back-handed tributes to the disreputable entertainments of our youth, Amazon Women is a smorgasbord of comedy skits, some served up just right and others pretty half-baked—but a judicious use of the remote control and patience rewards; overall the result is a good-natured vacation for the mind with three or four laugh-out-loud vaudeville sequences and a couple of bona-fide short-form classics. The...

The word “legend” refers to a great many people who have worked in Hollywood. But when you’re talking about a movie star or a fabled director, the essence of the legend can be found up onscreen. With a producer, the legend usually has more to do with the shadow world offscreen — with what, exactly, he did to get a movie made. And as surely as the studio-system era was built on such legends as the pitch-perfect vulgarity of Samuel Goldwyn or the control-freak tyranny of Louis B. Mayer, the Hollywood that came after them had the high-wire, livin’-large effrontery of Robert Evans.

A former cheeseball actor who took over as the head of production for Paramount Pictures in the late ’60s, guided it back from the dead, and presided over as brilliant and game-changing a run as the movies had ever seen, Evans represented a unique fusion: of...

Tom Jennings, a retired Hollywood talent agent and casting director, was killed in a household fire on Bainbridge Island in Washington State on April 18, his family announced Tuesday. He was 81.

Jennings’ notable clients during his long career included Julian Fellowes, Burl Ives, Lee Van Cleef and Gene Simmons.

Along with partner Walter Beakel, he founded the boutique talent agency Beakel and Jennings in 1976.

Also Read: Peggy Lipton of 'Mod Squad' and 'Twin Peaks' Dies at 72

Born in Evanston, Illinois in 1937, Jennings grew up in Santa Barbara, California, and later attended Hanover College in Indiana before serving in the Marine corps. He began his career in Hollywood in the late 1950s as an agency assistant to Bing Crosby at Artists Agency Corporation, later moving on to General Artists where he assisted Bill Sargent with the cult music series “The Teenage Music International.”

Following his departure from General Artists in the early ’60s,...

The Museum of the Jewish People at Beit Hatfutsot has selected a list of the 15 greatest moments in the history of Jewish comedy.

Among the shows, routines and bits making the list are Seinfeld, Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner's "2,000-Year-Old Man" routine, the Borscht Belt, Joan Rivers' 1965 debut on The Tonight Show, Adam Sandler's "Hanukkah Song" and Henny Youngman's signature "Take my wife, please."

The list coincides with the museum's exhibit "Let There Be Laughter – Jewish Humor Around the World," and its release is timed to ...

The Museum of the Jewish People at Beit Hatfutsot has selected a list of the 15 greatest moments in the history of Jewish comedy.

Among the shows, routines and bits making the list are Seinfeld, Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner's "2,000-Year-Old Man" routine, the Borscht Belt, Joan Rivers' 1965 debut on The Tonight Show, Adam Sandler's "Hanukkah Song" and Henny Youngman's signature "Take my wife, please."

The list coincides with the museum's exhibit "Let There Be Laughter – Jewish Humor Around the World," and its release is timed to ...

Greta Van Fleet, Anthem of the Peaceful Army ***

The Struts, Young and Dangerous ***1/2

Like the mid-70s bloat that whelped punk, and the post-grunge end-of-the-century vacuum that delivered TV On The Radio, The Yeah Yeahs Yeahs, The White Stripes and The Strokes, a new rawk day seems to be a-dawnin’ in this manicured pop moment. You hear it in a surge of potent woman-led indie acts, in mainstream country artists channeling heartland rock, in Americana bands re-purposing Southern rock. With Greta Van Fleet and The Struts — somewhat startlingly — you hear it in undiluted,...

This Week in Home Video‘They’re Playing With Fire’ Blends Bloody Violence and T&A Thrills to Surprising EffectPlus 13 more new releases to watch at home this week on Blu-ray/DVD.

Welcome to this week in home video! Click the title to buy a Blu-ray/DVD from Amazon and help support Fsr in the process!

Pick of the WeekThey’re Playing With Fire [Kl Studio Classics]

What is it? A sexy college professor seduces her student, and then people start dying horrible deaths.

Why see it? I’ve been a Sybil Danning fan for more years than I care to recall, but somehow this one slipped past me before now. I’m not sure what teen me would have thought, but as an adult I’m in awe of just how off the rails it gets from its very clear T&A origin. From the cover to the copy the film sells itself as just another sex flick, but...

31 years ago, the sequel to the surprise hit A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) was rushed into theaters to capitalize on that film’s box office success. A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985) made $21 million at the box office, a mere $4 million less than its predecessor, and certainly more than enough to keep the burgeoning franchise going. But alas, for poor Freddy, the wrath for this film over the years has withered its reputation to whispers and snickers, with the occasional outburst of foaming conjecture. I don’t get it. I love Freddy’s Revenge.

So why all the shade? First of all, Freddy’s Revenge has the misfortune of sitting in-between the original classic and a follow-up that most consider the best of the sequels, A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. Both of those films have the involvement of the late horror guru Wes Craven...

“Take my wife…please,” goes the classic joke by Borscht Belt comedian Henny Youngman. In their new Seeso show, “Take My Wife,” stand-up comedians and real-life married couple Cameron Esposito and Rhea Butcher have given Youngman’s joke a 21st century twist, adapting it into a cheeky title befitting comedy’s newest gem.

“Take My Wife” is the story of Cameron and Rhea, playing fictionalized versions of themselves, two lady-identified comics who date each other. The series begins with their wedding night, then cuts to six months earlier, when Rhea is working a graphic design job she hates and Cameron is fielding podcast questions about what it’s like to be a woman in comedy. (“My favorite question!”)

Read More: Wyatt Cenac’s New Show on Seeso Is a Perfect Blend of Comedy and Observation

The two comics host the wildly popular stand-up show and podcast “Put Your Hands Together” in real life,...

Actor/ Producer Julian McMahon ("Nip/Tuck" and "Fantastic Four") and Charlie Loventhal ("Mr Write" and "Meet Market"), in partnership with Grey Eagle Films/Grey Eagle Development, will be developing and producing "Funny Boys," based on the novel by Warren Adler. Paradigm will package the project.

Adler is best known for the blockbuster novel “The War of the Roses,“ which spawned an iconic film directed by Danny DeVito. Set in the 1930s in Brownsville Brooklyn and the famed New York State, Catskills, "Funny Boys," follows the story of Mickey Fine whose ambition is to be a comedian and follow in the footsteps of the great names of the era; Milton Berle, Henny Youngman, Sid Caesar, Jackie Mason, Joan Rivers, and scores of others who got their start in the many Borscht Belt hotels.

Jonathan Robert Adler, CEO, along with Grey Eagle COO, Stephen Greenwald, former President of DeLaurentis Entertainment Group and Embassy Pictures, have already launched a number of development/producing deals.

"Funny Boys" is just one of a number of Warren Adler novels in various stages of development by Grey Eagle Films. Other Grey Eagle projects include "The War of the Roses: The Children" adapted by screenwriter and Novelist Alex McAulay and codeveloped by Permut Presentations; "Target Churchill,"co-developed by Solution Entertainment Group; "Mourning Glory," to be adapted by award-winning writer and director Karen Leigh Hopkins; "Cult," also to be adapted by Alex McAulay; "Capitol Crimes," a TV series based on Warren Adler’s Fiona Fitzgerald mystery series, co-developed by Sennet Entertainment, with Eric Overmyer as showrunner; and soon to be announced thrillers "Torture Man," "Residue" and "The Womanizer"...

Where else to present a concert version of a new, original Broadway musical titled Song Of Solomon than at the Actors' Temple. The historic building, constructed in 1923, has been designated a national landmark and the synagogue has been home to many of the greats in show business. Some of it's members and congregants were Al Jolson, Edward G. Robinson, Jack Benny, Milton Berle, Henny Youngman, Eddie Cantor and countless other lesser-known actors, comedians, singers, playwrights, composers, musicians, writers, dancers and theatrical agents. Academy Award winner Shelley Winters kept the High Holy Days in the Actors Temple. as well as The Three Stooges, and Harpo Marx who attended services. Ed Sullivan, whose wife Sylvia Weinstein was Jewish, was also a member.

Retro-active: The Best Articles From Cinema Retro's Archives

By Lee Pfeiffer

Last year, the Harris Poll reported that John Wayne ranked among America's top ten favorite actors. This may seem like an incredible feat for a man who's been six-feet under since 1979, but the Duke's popularity continues to grow as evidenced by the tidal wave of DVD titles and tributes afforded him this year on what would have been his 100th birthday. Unlike many actors of the past, Wayne is not being rediscovered by a new generation. In fact, he's never been out of style. While younger generations have to be educated about the work of legends such as Bogart and Cagney, it seems people become acquainted with Wayne's image while still in the womb. Warner Brothers and Paramount have teamed up for a major Wayne DVD promotion that will put a dent in any collector's wallet if they hope...

By Lee Pfeiffer 

The three Harry Palmer feature films (The Ipcress File, Funeral in Berlin and Billion Dollar Brain) have had a rather cluttered history in terms of their video releases. Surprisingly, producer Harry Saltzman didn't stick with one studio in terms of their theatrical releases, as he did with the James Bond films which he co-produced with Cubby Broccoli. Instead, each of the Palmer films was financed by and released by a different studio. Thus, in the ensuing decades, the video rights to these films have been convoluted. The titles have remained consistently available to consumers in some countries, while in others (including the USA), they have appeared and disappeared from the marketplace for years at a time. Now the Warner Archive has reissued Paramount's original DVD version of Funeral in Berlin as a burn-to-order title. The original film, The Iprcress File, was internationally acclaimed as the "thinking man's 007" movie.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine is coming your way from Fox on Sept. 17th, and Andy Samberg, along with show creators and executive producers Dan Goor and Mike Schur were available recently to talk about the show and eat beef jerky. At the end, Andy gets a surprise insight into the creation of the show, and it’s pretty cool.

If you’ve seen the clips, you know that it was a call destined to venture somewhat outside the normal realms.

If you aren’t familiar yet, Samberg plays Detective Jake Peralta, an unusual detective who is very talented at what he does, but isn’t used to following rules. We enter the show as Captain Ray Holt (Andre Braugher) takes over the squad that Peralta is part of, and we’re about to have a serious clash.

Take a look at a quick preview clip below if you aren’t up to speed.

"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope." – Martin Luther King, Jr.

You said it, Reverend. Greetings from the apocalypse! As we continue our trek across this wind-blasted winter landscape of mediocre cinema, it's important not to toss hope in a ditch like grandma's ashes. Jumpstart the Vw bus we found abandoned next to the exploded gas station and let's move onward into the long Mlk weekend with our head held high and noseplug firmly secured. It's how the good Doctor would have wanted it.

Friday, January 18

January is always a dumping ground for crap horror flicks, which is why this week's Survivor of Thunderdome is such a labored breath of fresh air: the Guillermo del Toro-produced frightmare "Mama." Based on a short film from 2008, it chronicles two creepy little tikes discovered living la vida feral in the woods, where they've been under the watchful eye of...

What made film-maker Judd Apatow want to be be funny? Or inspired novelist Stephenie Meyer to create a world of vampires? In My Ideal Bookshelf, more than 100 writers and other cultural figures were asked to share the literary journeys that helped them realise their ambitions and find success. Here are four

• What would your 'ideal bookshelf' be, and why?

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, novelist: 'All my characters drank ginger beer'

I grew up in a university town in Nigeria. I was an early reader and, what I read as a young child, were mostly British and American books. I was also an early writer. And when I began to write, at about the age of seven – stories in pencil with crayon illustrations, which my poor mother was obligated to read – I wrote exactly the kinds of stories I was reading.

All my characters were white and drank ginger beer, because the...

Steve Martin has been making people laugh so hard for so long that some — especially younger audiences — might not fully appreciate just how pure and fresh his early comic work was. Before the Oscars, before Father of the Bride, before Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, even before The Jerk, Martin was a total force of nature whose main platform was television, beginning with writing for the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour. In his wild and crazy prime, an appearance by Martin on Johnny Carson or other primetime showcase was insane, yet so carefully crafted. When he hosted Saturday Night Live or had a stand-up special,...

The Wizard of Gore and The Gore Gore Girls were recently released on Blu-ray by Image Entertainment and Something Weird Video. However, there wasn’t a big announcement for the release and it hasn’t really been covered online, so we wanted to let our readers know about it. Continue reading for cover art and additional release details. For fans of Herschell Gordon Lewis, we also have news of a project to restore some of his previously lost films.

The Wizard Of Gore (1970, Unrated, 95 Mins.): Is it magic? Or wholesale slaughter? Montag the Magnificent (Ray Sager), The Wizard Of Gore, is a seedy small time magician with a shocking stage act. Hypnotizing pretty young women from the audience to be his obedient volunteers, Montag then proceeds to mutilate them in a series of Grand Guignol illusions. A woman is cut in half with a chainsaw, another is drilled through...

A Planet Fury-approved selection of notable genre releases for May.

42nd Street Forever (2012) Blu-ray Available Now

225 minutes of pure awesome. Exploitation fans won’t want to miss Synapse Films' latest trailer compilation. This new release features theatrical trailers from the first two volumes with plenty of additional material. Enjoy classic horror, science fiction, action and exploitation coming attractions remastered in high definition. The 80+ titles include such grindhouse favorites as Dr. Butcher, MD, The Pom Pom Girls, Werewolves on Wheels, Savage Sisters, The Teacher, The Evictors and Chained Heat.

The Wizard of Gore/The Gore Gore Girls (1970/1972) Blu-ray Available Now

Something Weird’s Blu-ray release of Herschell Gordon Lewis’ Blood Trilogy last year was a minor revelation. The Blood Feast print, presented in glorious high definition, was stunning in its gore-soaked clarity. All three films (including Two Thousand Maniacs and Color Me Blood Red) highlighted superior transfers, but Blood Feast was the standout.

This week we'll be treated to a big advertising campaign for "Spy Kids: All the Time in the World in 4D." I have not seen the film, but I have experienced the process.

Yes, the Scratch-n-Sniff card is back, this time advertised as Aromascope. We have come a long way since Odorama and Smell-o-Vision. Well, maybe not that long a way.

It was May 1981 in Cannes. I had just left Le Petit Carlton, the legendary bistro on a back street behind the old Palais. Rainer Werner Fassbinder and his posse were gathered inside, looking as discontented as usual. I planned to walk down the Rue d'Antibes to the Hotel Splendid. After a block or two I found myself accosted by a press agent. He asked me if I was coming to the midnight screening of "Polyester."

"Polly who?" I asked. In France you never realize they're speaking English.

"The new John Waters film!

ABC’s upcoming sitcom Work It has only released a minute-and-a-half preview to the public, but already it’s blazing a trail for the next phase of television humor. As you can see from the above title card, this show has everything from wacky, miss-aligned fonts to the always hilarious man-legs in heels. But that’s not all. Thanks to an envelope-pushing concept and one-liners that would make Henny Youngman jealous, this trailer has proven that the world is finally ready for another cross-dressing comedy.

As you just saw, Work It follows two manly men who decide to pose as women so they can get hired in the fast-paced, jet-setting world of ... cosmetics sales.

As the promo’s catchphrase clearly states: "desperate Times… desperate Measures." You know ABC means business because the word "measures" is capitalized and underlined. The marketing team behind Work It clearly knows that the modern TV...

For a self-proclaimed (bleep) who hadn’t been “back” to SNL since 1982, host Elton John invigorated Studio 8H with great sentimentality and sincerity last night. Sure, Horatio Sanz didn’t reappear to dress as Elton for a reunion makeout with Eminem, but it’s fair to say that special guests Carmelo Anthony (!), Jake Gyllenhaal (!!), Tom Hanks (!!!), and duet partner Leon Russell (whose snow-white beard is a waterfall of exclamation points) made up the difference. Yes, Saturday night was all right for funny — and the easiest pun in western civilization. Let’s recap the best and worst skits:

Best: Monologue

John...

Every day, come rain or shine or internet tubes breaking, Film School Rejects showcases a trailer from the past. Quick. What would you do if the school room full of students you were teaching was kidnapped by a guy in a duck mask and another guy in a Santa Claus mask? I don’t know either, but I’m pretty sure there’s a Henny Youngman joke in there somewhere. This Australia gem from 1985 has got everything your heart desires – violence, children, violence against children, accents. Plus, the trailer asks the important existential questions. Check out the trailer for yourself: Let the film marketers of the past sell you on their movie by checking out more VTOTDs...

For sportswriters, the big game means a clash of the titanic cliches-even if the teams don't look so super. How does Buzz Bissinger go the distance to give his 110 percent for Sunday in Big D?

It is the sportswriting version of the Bataan Death March, The Longest Yard with the score still tied, the Bridge to Nowhere.

Related story on The Daily Beast: How Many Americans Know the Star Spangled Banner?

It's always like this in the two weeks leading up the Super Bowl. Jack be Nimble Jack be Quick, stories about the Super Bowl are mostly shit.

Truth be told, you hit a dry gulch right off the bat. You know you don't have an arrow in the quiver. You know the word bag is as empty as Mother Hubbard's cupboard during a grocery strike. But a sportswriter has to do what a sportswriter has to do. When the going gets tough,...

Chicago – I haven’t seen it yet but just watching the original “A Nightmare on Elm Street” in gorgeous HD has me pumped up for the Platinum Dunes remake about to be released. The world could use a little more Freddy Krueger (played by the excellent Jackie Earle Haley in the remake), one of the most memorable creations in the history of horror.

Blu-Ray Rating: 5.0/5.0

Until the new “A Nightmare on Elm Street” hits theaters on April 30th, pick up the wildly influential 1984 Wes Craven film, available in HD for the first time. Even though I’ve seen “Nightmare” several times over the years, I’m still impressed by Craven’s best film, one that would change the horror world forever and one of which the quality has been kind of dismissed due to the inferiority of so many of the sequels that followed.

Subsequent Freddy films, chronicled in the...

There is something about the Jewish way of humor and storytelling I've always found enormously appealing. I memorized material by Henny Youngman and Myron Cohen at an age when, to the best of my knowledge, I had never met a Jew. I liked the rhythm, the contradiction, the use of paradox, the anticlimax, the way word order would be adjusted to back up into a punch line. There seemed to be deep convictions about human nature hidden in gags and one-liners; a sort of rueful shrug. And the stories weren't so much about where they ended as how they got there.

The serious man is consoled by the friend who has stolen his wife

The Coen brothers' new film, "A Serious Man," tells a Jewish story. It is largely about misery and bad luck, and it's very funny. Its hero's first two words must have been oy vey. The Coens,...

Oh, Ruth and Sunda. A lawsuit? Really? Mrs. Zafrin, Sunda Croonquist is your son's wife and the mother of your grandchildren. She is a comedian in a long, long line of comedians who have poked fun in a hyperbolic manner at their mothers-in-law. I'm fairly certain those of Henny Youngman, Rodney Dangerfield, and Don Rickles were not sitting in Borscht Belt booths flanked by legal counsel. And I suspect Kathy Griffin's own mother understands that her daughter's mom-based material is a combination of love and a kernel of truth on steroids. Ms. Croonquist, if this is a way to garner publicity, it is a round-about display of family unity. But while you're making appearances on morning television (funny stuff on "Morning Meeting" with Dylan Ratigan), you and your secretly well-intentioned mother-in-law are clogging...

A joke should have the perfection of a haiku. Not one extra word. No wrong words. It should seem to have been discovered in its absolute form rather than created. The weight of the meaning should be at the end. The earlier words should prepare for the shift of the meaning. The ending must have absolute finality. It should present a world view only revealed at the last moment. Like knife-throwing, joke-telling should never be practiced except by experts.

For many laymen, a joke is a heavenly gift allowing them to monopolize your attention although they lack all ability as an entertainer. You can tell this because they start off grinning and grin the whole way through. They're so pleased with themselves. Their grins are telling you they're funny and their joke is funny. The expert knows not to betray the slightest emotion. The expert is reciting a fact. There...

Last night on Mad Men, Don Draper squashed the "sex sells" cliché, telling Peggy that advertising wasn't about masking products with sexy imagery, but about selling people a version of themselves. "You are the product," he told Peggy. By that axiom, judging by the following commercial, Klondike thinks you're an asshole: Wives! Tell me about it, Klondike. The way they're always like, "Nag nag nag, blah blah blah." What would I do for a Klondike bar? Enter into a loveless marriage full of barely concealed contempt, that's what. And, man, you think my wife is bad? You should get a load of my mother-in-law. Zing! I deserve about 50 ice cream treats just for suffering through one minute of that old battleaxe. The apple doesn't fall too far from the nagging tree in that family! Did Klondike just listen to old Henny Youngman before...

The calendar commands. We obey. Here's a roundup of fall's most horrific DVDs.

Before Freddy Krueger morphed into a bobblehead doll and beloved pop icon, he was a slayer and molester of small children, more interested in ghastly homicide than one-liners. Nowadays, he's "The Henny Youngman of horror", says horror pic pundit David Del Valle. "We forget that he was this child killer."

New Line offers an eye-opening reminder with the rerelease of "A Nightmare on Elm Street", the real-deal original and by far the best movie in the Freddy franchise. The double-disc set proves a significant upgrade from NL's last "Nightmare", bringing back to life most of the extras from the definitive Elite laserdisc of the late '90s.

The overhauled video and audio alone justify New Line's double dip. Images are on the dark side, with a bias toward artsy-creepy blues. Compared to the 2001 disc, there's much more detail, less grain, less fuzziness. Aspect ratio is the original 1.85:1, enhanced for 16x9 monitors. Audio gets a big upgrade to nerve-rattling Dolby 5.1-EX and DTS-ES 6.1 surround. Fans have griped that a handful of audio effects are MIA.

Writer-director Wes Craven, star Heather Langenkamp and several co-conspirators do a new commentary. (Johnny Depp, who made his film debut here as the weenie boyfriend, doesn't participate.) The second feature-length talk with Craven and company dates back to the 1996 laserdisc. Either one is a good choice.

Three new featurettes cover the Freddy phenomenon. "The House That Freddy Built: The History of New Line" takes us from "Nightmare" to "The Lord of the Rings". The company-line docu tells how close this production was to never happening because of skittish financiers. At one point, a crew member's credit cards came into play. Peter Jackson later wrote a script for a "Nightmare" sequel, the docu says, but it was rejected. "Never Sleep Again" does a good job covering the production, mixing in plenty of deleted footage. "I dream of Freddy all the time", says actress Langenkamp, now in her 40s. "Night Terrors" looks at dream symbolism through the ages and how Freddy fits in.

The docus incorporate much of the material presented on Disc 1 via New Line's ambitious but annoying InfiniFilm scheme, in which viewers detour from the film to view extras that are announced by pop-ups.

****

Takashi Miike knows the outer limits of American cable. "Imprint", the notorious Japanese director's entry in Showtime's "Masters of Horror" series, proved too extreme for the network.

"Banned from cable TV" the DVD slipcase shouts. Not even a close call, most rational viewers will agree.

"Imprint" loiters in the darkest places of civilized life, exploiting incest, abortion, spousal abuse, child molestation, torture and more. "What system, what producer would greenlight this?" Miike muses in the extras. "For me this is like a car accident."

A better question: Why bother to watch such a thing? Miike is hugely talented, as he proved with the domestic shocker "Audition". The hourlong "Imprint's" dark beauty can't be denied. Visually, it's reminiscent of Kurosawa's final poetic works. The plot goes from strange to absurd in the final 15 minutes, but the story still fascinates with its twists and "Rashomon"-like shuffling of realities. For those who can bear it, "Imprint" proves a singular experience.

The story is set on a Japanese island, near the end of the 19th century. The American anti-hero, played by Billy Drago, shows up at a low-rent brothel seeking a working girl he promised to marry years ago. A hooker, beautiful despite a deformed face, gives him tea and comfort, then launches into a long story about her past and his lost love. "I am surrounded by madness", the seeker proclaims once he has heard enough. But the madness has just begun.

Miike is interviewed at length in the extras. He seems like a decent guy, well versed in fast-and-furious filmmaking. Miike is full of practiced quotes: "Human nature itself is horrific." "The object of horror is not (to reveal) a lunatic but yourself." A text essay on the director and his many genre films will be helpful for most viewers.

The commentators, oddly enough, are not big fans of the work. Chris D. of the American Cinematheque and writer Wyatt Doyle call Miike's decision to shoot in English a cop-out, pointing to the shaky performances of Japanese players who had to learn their lines phonetically. They expect more from Miike. Good talk.

Anchor Bay's single-disc presentation retails for $16.98. It includes a pair of decent making-of docus that add up to about 70 minutes. The letterboxed images (1.77:1, enhanced) are flawless and richly colored. Audio is fine.

****

One of the many cool things about "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre" was its cheap-o documentary feel. The images on previous home video releases were true to its low-low-budget origins, but now Dark Sky Films has gone and gussied up the 1974 indie classic.

"Chain Saw" looks and sounds as good as it's going to get on this "Ultimate Edition". The high-def transfer, from the mother 16mm negatives, reveals surprisingly vibrant colors and detail. Audio has been remixed in 5.1 and stereo, allowing appreciation of its chilling soundtrack, hugely influential and ahead of its time.

The DVD features two docus: "The Shocking Truth" (from 2000) and the looser "Flesh Wounds". "Truth" tells the downbeat tale of how the filmmakers and actors were cut out of the film's juicy profits, with an alleged mob-front company taking the blame. A commentary with director Tobe Hooper and "Leatherface" Gunnar Hansen comes from previous editions; a new track features the actors and the innovative production designer Robert A. Burns. Hours of grisly fun await the faithful in the other extras. Retail: $29.98.

****

"Rest Stop", another tale of Texas terror, comes from Warner's new direct-to-video operation, Raw Feed. The movie starts as a kidnapping thriller, a redneck version of "The Vanishing", before veering off into psycho killer territory. Director John Shiban ("The X-Files") gets decent performances out of his young star, Jaimie Alexander, and from Joey Lawrence, who plays a doomed cop. Extras include three alternate endings and a strange short about the film's family of Spam-eating freaks. Retail: $24.98.

****

The "Mystery Science Theater" gang would have a blast with 1975's "The Devil's Rain," a work equally sinister and shlocky. Ernest Borgnine, Eddie Albert and William Shatner get top billing, along with a game Ida Lupino. Young talent includes hero Tom Skerritt and John Travolta, making his film debut. Borgnine reportedly refused to do another movie involving satanism after supernatural goings-on during filming, but director Robert Fuest says diplomatically that he, um, hadn't heard anything about that. "If you stop and analyze (the movie), you get into trouble," Fuest cautions. "Rain" was made with the "special participation" of Church of Satan founder Anton LaVey, who's seen marrying a lucky couple in a newsreel extra. Another Dark Sky title; retail: $14.98.

****

Two Boris Karloff sets hit the market in time for Halloween. Universal's "The Boris Karloff Collection" comes marketed as horror but in reality is a set of five moody costume pieces with scattered thrills. Go with Universal's recent rereleases of "Frankenstein" and "Dracula". Sony's four-movie "Icons of Horror" set delivers. Buy it for the pair of mad-scientist tales, "The Man They Could Not Hang" (1939) and "Before I Hang" (1940), as well as the famed "The Black Room" (1935). "Boris Karloff was to the horror movie what Fred Astaire was to the musical," the package proclaims. Truth in advertising. The Universal set goes for $29.98, and the Sony set brings $24.96.