Greedy Bitches

Pornographers frequently turn reflexive regarding their profession, with this Digital Playground feature often more self-serving than satirical. Veteran cameraman/director Francois Clousot definitely didn't take anything seriously.

An odd bunch of targets are pilloried here: Victoria Secret's since-abandoned silliness of modeling "Million Dollar" jeweled Fantasy Bras in its old annual TV specials; AVN and its stupid porno award shows; and improbably, a cheap parody of "Ocean's Eight"!

Central conceit has the porn starry cast generally playing porn stars with their same stage names: not playing themselves but essentially mocking the time-honored lazy practice of not burdening them with "fictional" character names to remember (cuts down on pesky retakes).

Xander Corvus is Xander Corvus, but not a porn actor -he's a designer who has created a $10.6 million diamond jeweled thong for girlfriend Nicolette Shea to wear at the annual Adult World Weekly XXX awards ceremony.

Several porn actresses contrive to steal the valuable piece of lingerie, all of them thwarted in their rather embarrassingly amateurish caper efforts. Climax has Xander and Shea as centerpiece in a group sex scene with the entire femme cast.

In place of an elaborate large-scale caper like the Ocean's gang stealing a necklace at the Met gala, we have minimal jewel thief action as director Clousot, clearly not a fan of the Pink Panther movies featuring his namesake, emphasizing sex instead.

Result could easily have been a Brazzers release instead, as that Canadian porn label merged with Digital Playground a decade earlier, and its big bust/huge butt contract stars Lela Star and Shea are the main attractions here.

Thieves wearing catsuits that would make Serena Williams proud is an excuse to show Lela's immense posterior, surgically adapted to her petite frame, looking utterly grotesque in an eye-popping and thankfully brief shot.