Artemis Fowl

Truly an awful film. Scraps literally all the charm and myth of the book and misses every mark that would be necessary for even a decent film. The tone is confused, the scene direction is 10/10 for cringe. All those years of Shakespearean study and practice was a waste of time Kennith? Clearly. Packed with all the muddled and addled virtue signalling nonsense that you could ever need. It not only defuses any sincerity about the characters but also manages to destroy any possible tension. We seem to be in a place in film making where it is taboo and forbidden for anyone to represent negative qualities of any kind. Everyone is good and nice to each other except for characters hidden in cloaks or the colonial British man.

Josh Gads narration is not only entirely unnecessary but delivered like a high school students first assessment project.

Holly is wrecked. Root is wrecked. Foaley is nothing. Mulch is intolerable. Butler is wrecked. Juliet is nothing.

0 tension. 0 nuance. 0 technique.

It may be the worst adaption of a book I've ever seen. Definitely at least in the top 5.