...then we might have a piece of crap here. It's a terribly difficult task to try to wrap your mind around the purpose of making this movie, and even more mind boggling is the cast. I mean Joey Fat One and a freshly dusted off thirty-something Winnie Cooper? Atlantic City as the crazy party scene?
I was hoping that it was one of those movies that are so bad that they are funny to watch, but it was actually trying to be quasi-dramatic. Joey Fatone has exactly three facial expressions and they are all really annoying to look at. The sad thing is that I think he tried really hard and worked tirelessly in front of a mirror to nail those confused puppy dog looks. I'm wondering what the hell happened to this guy anyway? Was this a slippery slope movie? Is this the bottom for Joey? You'd think Timberlake would throw him a bone and save him from this nonsense, but he took a left somewhere when Justin took a right. Now he's just a lost soul treading in the depths of the entertainment industry and if he's going to do porn he better get to fu@&ing fast because he is literally going to look like Ron Jeremy sooner than later and he just doesn't carry that kind of street cred in his repertoire that anyone with a sex drive is going to remember in ten years.
Danica oh Danica...Why did you do this to me? We are the same age and I had the biggest childhood crush on you from The Wonder Years and you just absolutely ruined everything. I wasn't even aware that you still acted. You and Fatone just popped up out of nowhere. You two just please go back to that place where you've been low key for all these years. This i just wrong on so many levels. And as hot as you turned out, my imagination had you so much hotter and that visual has been savagely ripped from my mind, so for that I will never be able to watch The Wonder Years again without an overwhelming feeling of shame clouding over me, mostly for you, not for me. You could have at least gave us some frontal nudity, maybe a shower scene for us jaded poor viewers who got dooped into watching this piece of crap.
To sum it up very nicely: The crazy guy wasn't really crazy; the cool guy wasn't cool; the weird guy was just corny; even Winnie and her rack were horrible. The comedy was non-existent.
If it wasn't for the porn star in the beginning and Winnie's bouncing breasts at the end, then I would give it one star. I'll throw in a star for each pair of nice breasts I saw in this movie, bringing the grand total to three, lousy, pathetic, heartless, soulless, lame, Fatonish, stars.
P.S. Those 2 positive reviews from Philadelphia are absolutely absurd and they deserve some kind of horrible tragedy in their lives to make everything right for that nonsense.
