Se7en Deadly Sins

Chaplin remains one of cinema's all-time greats, both as actor and director (and all-around genius), but his out-sized ego always made me want to root for one of his less-famous but equally talented peers, say Keaton. In recent porn, one untalented but wealthy Brit named Paul Chaplin is even more full of himself than CC, and this lost-in-the- shuffle video proves it.

It consists of 8 sex scenes running almost 3 hours in total, and do justice to the enumerated sins. I was immediately confused by Chaplin's sloppy format, as a brief opening scene is set in Eden (the garden) in which Carly Parker plays the evil Serpent/Devil and Cindy Behr cameos as Eve. There's no sex in that segment and my mind wandered so much over the next hours that I couldn't prove that Cindy, despite her prominent #2 billing, returned to do some XXX action.

Carly makes up for it, giving her imported from the USA all in a couple of explicit scenes, notably a gang-bang saluting Gluttony. She can't stop eating chocolates or sucking on big cocks in an idiotic sequence.

Chaplin insists on popping up frequently to sample the wares: he is one producer who's in porn in order to get his hands and dick on as many leading ladies as possible, not in the privacy of a casting couch but instead as exhibitionist foisting himself off on the viewer as a would- be porn stud. The other familiar and overworked male sex workers from England do not receive a screen credit, only Chaplin does.

Since this is a Chaplin production for his home label Bluebird the wonderful Lee twins show up for work but are wasted in a ridiculous skit depicting Envy. They do it as a tag team, one twin impersonating the other as the Queen's beleaguered slave girl in ancient Greece. Lexxi Tyler plays the Queen and is one of the best things the film ha to offer.

Lexxi also stars in Lust, set in a Red Light District bar and with the dumb motif of a poster for Frank Miller's film "Sin City" prominently displayed. As usual, Chaplin crams in as many ladies as budget will permit, so favorites like Stacey Saran and Audrey Bitoni get lost in the shuffle.