Decompression Session

Gus Delario (actually Bryn Pryor) made the 3 massage vignettes making up this lousy DVD, low-effort filler strictly. Even the scene titles are meaningless.

The title vignette features Michael Vegas with a particularly ugly hair style hamming it up in an improvised set-up where his patter is boring and makes no sense; late in the scene he's unintelligible.

Sophia Burns plays his nondescript masseuse; her stubby nipples are her only appealing feature when she gets nude. Vegas claims his partner recommended her, and there's nothing established to differentiate it from a hundred other all-sex Oiler scenes. To top it all off, he goes to great pains to rearrange their final position in order to cum in her mouth, not the romantic way to end a massage seduction scene.

Seth Gamble gives a lousy performance in this Nuru Massage scene. He plays the owner of a failing massage parlor. Sitting in an empty coffee house, he shoots the breeze with pal Nicole Aria, some of the most boring small talk one could imagine. She prattles on about how wonderful Europe is after having visited there (Seth has never been) and each character comes off as clueless. When he mentions how lousy his business is doing, she suggests he spice things up by adding Nuru massage, and invites him to visit her for a demonstration.

It leads to the standard Oiler cliches, with the two friends quickly turning into lovers as she gives him the full treatment. Gamble has been working like a one-man porn industry lately and his lack of interest in doing a good (or even marginally acceptable) job is glaringly apparent here.

Odd-looking Andi Rose (she's tall, extremely thin and has a very long nose) plays a masseuse who improvises non sequiturs with a client (Brad Newman with a normal haircut for a change) she's invited into her home. Supposedly he's the co-owner of Nuru (whatever that means, as Nuru is merely a massage technique with that gooey seaweed derived gel from Japan) but the nonsense he has to say is nothing compared to Andi's dumb replies.

The sex ends in a money shot right on her kisser, more gonzo than romance obviously.