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Fujichia

Sayable Space / Mike's Crush

2023-02-21
THE RULES OF THE GAME / FEEL IT / DON'T SNAKE OUT / OVERRIDE / CRUSH GROOVE / GRILL YOUR FRIENDS / I REFUSE / GOOD OLD INFALLIBLE ME / LINKS

Sayable Space

Sayable Space is a television game for 1 or more people, it consists of saying "Space" out loud at the same time as Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart) during the intro to Star Trek: The Next Generation. Or actually that's just half of the game. The second half is saying "Space", and the first half is remembering that you are playing this game.

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"Space" is the first word in the narration-- there's a few seconds of music before it, but the music is pretty slow and the narration doesn't come in on a stong beat. There's really no good way to know to the millisecond exactly when it's going to happen but over time you just start to feel it and you get better and better at it and then you really pin it and you and Picard are so in sync that it sounds like one voice, that's the ideal.

It's cheating to start early and go "ssssssssssssssssSpace". Or it's not cheating but it's a bad vibe. You should be fully committing each time, that's what Picard would do. Similarly you have to say it in your full speaking voice, no whispering, even if you're alone. There is no expectation or reward for saying the rest of the narration, the only word that matters is "Space". There is no points system, and there is no winning or losing state, it's just a game that you're playing or you aren't. From a respect angle, this is pretty far from other "talking to the screen" situations, like Rocky Horror and Mystery Science Theatre 3000. It's closer to saying grace at the beginning of a nice meal. You're aligning your values with the group before an indulgence.


I tried to port this basic concept of being in tune and on time to other television intros but it doesn't really work. But also I didn't try very hard, because I don't watch a lot of TV. Star Trek (the original series) has the same spiel in the beginning, or close enough, but it comes in pretty early and in rhythm with the music, not much of a challenge. Deep Space Nine has a similar intro to Next Generation but there's no words-- I usually skip it, but when I do skip ahead (or "warp" if you will), I like to say "Space" out loud. That isn't really a game though, this is more like making an absolution to forgive a transgression (skipping the intro). Like when the cashier at Price Rite yells "OVERRIDE" to get a manager to void a transaction.

Mike's Crush

The only thing that's come close to Sayable Space is Mike's Crush, where you have to say Hi to Mike's crush in the intro to Night Court. She's appears pretty early in the intro, smoking a cigarette and laughing outside of maybe a bar. It feels good to say hi to her-- she's only onscreen for a split second so you really have to be tuned in to say hi while she's onscreen, and this focus, and the miniscule amount of time you have to react, plus the silly bit of madness of saying hi to someone on the television screen, it all adds up to a feeling that's a little bit like being a kid and having a crush on someone older. Someone that's completely unreachable, someone who works at a store or something, someone who smokes. Could be a romantic crush or a friend crush or just an unfulfillable desire to know "what's up with that person". Either way, it's nice to remember that feeling.

I don't know anything about this woman, for all I know she was a real person on a collection of b-roll footage marked "New York City - night", and had no idea she'd wind up on the intro of a beloved television comedy running 9 seasons. The only thing that separates her from the rest of the people in the intro is that Mike told me that when he was a kid he had a crush on her. I filed that away in my memory banks because it's cute, for a kid to have a crush on someone on tv who you only see for a third of a second. And then when me and Sakiko started watching Night Court recently via illegal download I put this information into play. Then I told Mike about our game but he seemed clueless on the subject (though he did know exactly who I was talking about). I decided to call him up.

interview with Mike:

So I have some questions about Night Court-- you told me a really long time ago that you had a crush on the lady smoking in the very beginning of the intro, but then I brought it up recently and it seemed like you didn't know what I was talking about... did I make this up?

I think you may have made that up

[both laugh]

I remember this wistful moment where you said like "yeah, she's just smoking and having fun and laughing and she was an adult, and I felt like, that's what my life could be, I could wear a leather jacket and just be laughing in the city at night with beautiful people"... Now when me and Sakiko watch Night Court we always say hi to her. But I guess I made this up...?

well that's not far from what my ideal of adulthood was as a kid, so... I may have said that and forgotten...

OK I really don't think I made this up but if so, I'm sorry if I foisted this idea on you

No, I think I might've said this in one of those "you know..." moments, late night, "one time when I was a kid...", and then

And then that stuck with me and I made it into this thing

yeah

Do you have a favorite character from Night Court?

Bull

To my defence, I think I'm more likely to remember this than Mike, even though it happened to him and he told me about it. I mean it's cute, and how often do you think about something cute about yourself when you were younger? It's so much easier to recall the shitty stuff. The charming moments are easier kept alive in the hearts and minds of others. In any event I refuse to believe that I'm making up nice things about Mike. I refuse!

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Like Sayable Space, Mike's Crush is a fun little minigame that involves paying attention to small moments and also talking to the television. You will probably have less opportunity to play this one because well, Star Trek is better than Night Court. That said, you are welcome to try and port this game to other scenarios. I mean you are free to say Hi to anyone you see for just a second that looks a little interesting but has no chance of hearing you.

For the record, Mike now lives in a city where he wears a leather jacket and laughs in the streets at night. He does not smoke.


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