I did something similar years ago when I didn’t have white hair on my pubes. It turned out pretty well (see here). It’s using quotes (some slightly altered, but about 95% unaltered) from a favorite movie to make a new short story using modern hockey players.Ill let you guess what movie I pulled the quotes from. I gave it another whirl. Check it out mang

Weird Vegas

Perry, Getzlaf and Kesler decide to getaway to vegas for a guy’s weekend out. They were given hall passes by their respective broads. Here is how it went.

PGK walks into the Luxor fresh from the airport. Getz is already drunk on some Bourbon, Kesler smashed 10 coors lights and Perry on 1 apple martini. They also smoked some hooka.

Getz: So, what would you little maniacs like to do first?

Pears: a little drinks, a little night-life, dancing

Kes: Getz?... By the way, why are we wearing bras on our heads?

Getz points to head

Getz: how you guys feeling? Ready to pick up some ho’s?

Kes: Well, my nuts are halfway up my ass, but other than that, I'm perfect!

Pears: I feel like an asshole

Getzlaf grimaces

Getz: If we're going to have any fun together, you guys have better learn to loosen up. You know, I can't believe this, Guys. I'm so disappointed in us. I mean, all our lives we've been saying how great it would be to get a hall pass, right? And now we’re in vegas and you’re being wormy little shits

Kes: yea pears why do you have to be such a wanker?

Pears: you’re right let’s hit the club.

Getz: whoever gets laid first gets $5,000 from the other two losers.

Kes: You two donkey-dicks couldn't get laid in a morgue

Pears: I'm not going to stand here and listen to this baloney.

PGK try to enter the club. No one recognizes hockey players so they are forced to wait in line. While they wait in line they decide to try to pick up on some of the girls in line

Getz: watch and learn guys

Gezt exposes himself to a girl next to him in line

Getz to HO #1: This is a nuclear missile!

HO #1: that's-that's gross! That's sick!, I don't think it was a whale's dick, honey I am calling security

Getz: Can we keep this... between us? I'd hate to lose my day job

Kes: My turn

Turns to another girl

Kes: Yo baby gonna throw a huge party up in our room. I mean huge party! Everybody's invited. Women everywhere. Naked bodies everywhere. They all know my name.

HO #2: Why are you telling me this?

Kes: You know, there's going to be sex, drugs, rock-n-roll... chips, dips, chains, whips... You know, your basic high school orgy type of thing. But first I'd like to... butter your muffin.

HO #2: Shut up, or I'll blow your face off

She turn’s around

Kes: Girls, shmirls!

Pears: Let me show you guys how it’s done

Turns to a group of girls

Pears: Yo ladies lookin' for a long, lean bone job from me. Ready to party now?

Group of girls: You guys are the ones who got beat up at Hooters Casino... right?

Security start towards PGK

Getz: Let's break.

Kes: 10-4 Gimme de keys! Gimme de keys!

Pears: Getz, I can't wait to die. Nobody likes us. Nobody.

Getz: Why don't you shut up, bitch?

Disclaimer: This is no way was pulled from a true story from Dunn...I mean in no way