Game Thread, Rainiers vs Rivercats
The Tacoma Rainiers host Sacramento in Game 1 of the PCL Pacific Conference Championship tonight, starting at 7:05. You can go here to listen live. They play game two tomorrow and its dollar day, so if you’ve got a hankering for some playoff baseball, head down to Cheney and check it out.
I’m putting up a game thread for anyone who is planning on listening on the ‘net. Go Rainiers.
Game 138: Mariners at Athletics
Steroid user Ryan Franklin v Rich Haren. Not in the lineup: LF/steroid user Mike Morse. There’s a separate thread for Morse’s suspension and related discussion.
Taking Morse’s place in left field, Ibanez! Taking Ibanez’s place at DH, “DH” Dobbs.
Suggested Excuses For Future Failed Steroids Tests
Michael Morse’s suspension is the third time a Mariner has been suspended for violating the new policy. It’s gotten so bad that the Sacramento Bee is asking whether steroids have replaced caffeine as Seattle’s drug of choice.
Well, at least they both beat heroin.
As Derek pointed out, though, at least Morse’s explanation was original instead of that old fallback, the “tainted supplement,” and was forthright instead of a Palmeiroesque “Winstrol? How did that get there?”
Let’s face it: between the majors and the minors, this team is probably going to need more and better excuses for getting caught.
We at USS Mariner Labs are nothing if not eager to help. Ask anyone, and they’ll tell you that Derek and I are two of the most helpful guys around, deserving honorary merit badges in that arena if only we’d join the Boy Scouts.
Hence, Derek and I collaborated on a handy cheatsheet (no pun intended). These are 15 potential excuses that the next 15 busted Mariners should run up the media flagpole.
The reader should note, however, that neither Derek nor I are in the running for “good taste” merit badges any time soon. So if you’re easily shocked or wish to take this list for anything but mirth … maybe you should go read something else.
Stick around for tomorrow’s post: “Part Two: Okay, I Actually Did Do Steroids, But Here’s Why I Needed To.” Read more
Morse suspended
I’m trying to figure out the right adjective for this press release. Terse? Succint? Spare?
I’d give you the upshot, but the whole release is the upshot:
The Office of the Commissioner of Baseball today announced that Michael Morse of the Seattle Mariners has been suspended 10 days, effective today, for violation of Major League Baseball’s Joint Drug Prevention and Treatment Program.
Bummer.