Sign Jeff Sullivan to a contract for $1.2 million liters of coffee.  Option Trent and Devin to wherever the hell they are now.

Renew the contracts of DMZ and Dave Cameron.  Sign Jason Barker to a new contract with incentives for how often he talks.  Release Jeff Shaw to pursue opportunities in Okinawa.

Trade Jerry, Bretticus, and a commenter to be named later to Athletics Nation for jlaff, monkeyball, and salb918.

Renew the contracts of Goose, Graham, jtopps, Phildopip, rljaws, kva15, ppl4life, etc.  Demote Scruffy Lefty to single-A Halos Heaven.

Sign Gomez to a minor-league blogging contract, assign him to work with Conor Glassey.

Renew PositivePaul's contract as a lefty on-occasion blogger (LOOB).  Promote marc w.  Sell pdb's contract to the Arsenal.

Trade David J. Corcoran to Kansas City for the Royals Review guy; sign Royals Review guy to an extension for a season ticket in left field behind Ibanez and a big blue posterboard "U".

Option IceX to Detectovision.

Sell Deanna's contract to Japan.