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Mary Worth, 11/27/24

Oh, man, this is incredible, we’re now on day three of Mary’s dinner guests making it very clear that they don’t mind at all that dinner’s been cancelled, and then going off and doing the thing that they’re now free to do because dinner’s been cancelled while very much not worrying about whether Mary’s dying or whatever. In Dr. Jeff’s case, the thing that he’s now free to do is to take a brisk walk alone into the woods and never come back.

Shoe, 11/27/24

Normally it would be the guy delivering the gag who would get the heavy lidded expression of despair in the second panel, indicating his shame at delivering terrible Shoe-level wordplay. But that’s not the case here, which leads me to believe this guy isn’t making a joke or anything. He’s dead serious about it: the toilet seat thing is a sick sex thing, one that drives his wife wild with desire, and it’s no doubt just the beginning of some very elaborate process that you do not want to know about. Shoe’s right to look so angry about having to hear this.

Pluggers, 11/27/24

Hey, pluggers, you guys know that they give the mall Santas a wig and a fake beard, right? It’s pretty obvious when you look at them. Even the little kids can tell, for the most part.

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Crock, 11/26/24

The thing that’s great about this Crock strip (and that’s a phrase I never thought I’d write) is that Barlow is covered with feathers, which I’m pretty sure means that Crock’s Thanksgiving turkey was still alive when he stole — and, presumably, ate — it. The image of a near-feral Barlow, crazed with hunger or some other form of madness, tearing the poor turkey limb from limb heedless of Crock’s punishment or basic human decency — well, it’s a grim yet wonderful one, and for even suggesting it I’m willing to forgive the strip for not showing his uniform stained with the blood we all know should be there.

Beetle Bailey, 11/26/24

Hello, Beetle Bailey fans. Were you worried that this realistic, grounded strip was going to present you with an absurd situation, like a dog that can read? Well, don’t worry too much: Otto, who is a dog and who walks on his hind legs, wears clothes, is fully capable of understanding and thinking in human language, is interested in astrology, and knows that the markings on a newspaper encode human language — which, to repeat, he’s fully capable of understanding — can’t read. He does remember things people say to him word for word, but he can’t read.

Mary Worth, 11/26/24

Well it looks like another invitee to Mary’s cancelled Thanksgiving dinner is not even slightly sad that Mary’s Thanksgiving dinner got cancelled, and does not intend to bring Mary something nice or check in on her to see if she’s feeling better later this week! Dawn will probably be spending most of the rest of the month taking the lyrics of “Defying Gravity” and really holding space with that and feeling power in that, so honestly Mary’s better off not seeing too much of her until that whole thing blows over.

Gasoline Alley, 11/26/24

Look, I get that the deal with cursèd objects is that they use their sinister powers to compel hapless victims to pass them from person to person so they can wreak havoc, but I do like how blasé Gertie is about it here. “Sorry Jones, they’re not here, they’re gasping for air as the last of their oxygen runs out. You want this doll? She’s inhabited by a demon from the depths of hell and her very existence is an affront to God. Give it to Ava Luna if you see her!”

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Blondie, 11/25/24

A common development in all sorts of open-ended narratives (comic strips, TV shows, what have you) is that ancillary characters are introduced to fill a specific purpose, like being the main character’s barber, but then you have a lot of strips/episodes to fill, and sometimes you use them to flesh out the backstories of those ancillary characters, and sometimes that process (when done well) reveals that these characters have full, rich lives beyond the specific purpose they were originally created for, but other times that process (when done poorly) simply tells you that the barber’s off-panel life consists of more barber, endless barber, barber all the way down, barber (as revealed today) that stretches back in time across generations. The one non-barber aspect that peeks through is Italianness, which is why our guy is allowed, as a member of that fiery and emotional race, to shed a single tear in panel two.

Mary Worth, 11/25/24

Haha, yes, it begins, and by “it” I mean Mary’s friends bailing on her now that she’s too sick to put a piping hot turkey dinner in front of their face on Thursday. A normal person would hear “I’m too tired to even make my homemade chicken soup for myself!” and ask “Oh, Mary, what can I do to step up and help,” but instead Toby is all “Don’t worry, I forgive you! You just lie there on the couch in your own sick while I use this adorable tiny easel I bought on Etsy to paint a cat with fetal alcohol syndrome that I hope someone will buy on Etsy ironically.”

Gil Thorp, 11/25/24

Big news! With Gil steadfastly refusing to return to work and the Mudlarks doing even worse than usual in his absence, Coach Hernandez is consulting … a pipe-smoking ghost??? Who doesn’t really seem to have any specific football knowledge? More on this important story as it develops.