268 posts tagged with sexuality.
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My boyfriend and I may not be compatible, please help? (more inside)
Hi, thank you guys for everything. I'm having some trouble with my personal relationship and where responsibility lies for certain things. Putting details and some history below (potentially NSFW), and thank you guys so much for everything. [more inside]
Tell me stories of partners who discover a truth that changes things
My partner has discovered she is no longer heterosexual and has broken up with me. Can you give me stories or advice to help me get through this difficult, confusing, and chaotic period? [more inside]
Final Fantasy
Have you successfully changed the content of your sexual fantasies? How? [more inside]
Data Sources for Sex over 65?
I am taking a psychology course in Contemporary Aging for my masters. I am doing a report on senior sex and about the challenges and joys found in sex after 65. I have found good anecdotal information in Joan Prices books. I am looking for resources that include research results. Any suggestions?
How to learn about relationships or dating
After a long time (over a decade) being in a steady, committed and happy relationship I find myself single. Since the end of that relationship a couple of years ago I have been with one other person for a while, which sadly didn't work out.
Looking at my situation I think there are some things I haven't learned in my life, and that a lot has changed in the world since I was last in this place, and I'd like to do something about that. [more inside]
Great infographics about gender and sexuality?
What are the great infographics, or sources for infographics like books and blogs, that focus on gender and sexuality? Any leads would be most appreciated ...
What are the best books on gender and sexuality in art?
I would love to read things, especially recently published, about gender and sexuality in visual art. Any recommendations would be most appreciated. Thanks in advance!
Who are the most celebrated self-identified intersex artists?
I am interested in learning more about famous artists that self-identify as intersex. Any thoughts about who would best to think about would be most welcome. Thanks in advance!
Resources to help me, a man, overcome my dislike and mistrust of men
An illuminating conversation with a friend has revealed to me that I, a straight cis man, harbour a dislike for men and consider them all sexual creeps. This is deeply unhealthy, I acknowledge that. Therapy is 2 months out. What do I do to explore and counter this thought in the meantime? Snowflake details within. [more inside]
Autism and some issues related to sexuality
I am a queer, Autistic woman trying to find a therapist/surrogate/something adjacent in NYC, who could maybe help me with some sensory-related sexual issues that are causing major problems in my life. [more inside]
What would you think if someone tells you about a racy show?
What would you think if someone tells you about a racy show? [more inside]
What could hetero dating culture learn from LGBTQ+ dating culture(s)?
What differences have you noticed between heterosexual dating norms, expectations, assumptions and practices and those in LGBTQ+ dating? Where do you think one does better than the another, and what would you like to see cross-pollinate between them? [more inside]
Men: How has your sex drive changed over the last decade?
Roughly how old are you, and how has your libido changed over the last several years? How do you experience your sexuality at this stage of your life and how does it differ to (up to) ten years ago? [more inside]
Safe Online Spaces In Which to Discuss Sexuality
I am looking for safe online spaces where I can talk to people about sex/sexuality/sexual health. This is the first year of being out as a bisexual person, and I have questions about a number of things, including some shame related stuff that I am already working on with an excellent therapist. Is Reddit a viable option if I have multiple related things I want to ask at once, or...? Thank you. :)
Inappropriate Fiction
I have a very smart, talented academic for a father-in-law, who has overcome a lot of trauma over the course of his life. To cope with the latest tragedy to befall him, he's been working on a novel. He's also been enjoying spending time with his granddaughters, who are around the age of 10. He shared his novel with me and other people. It contains some sexual content that I find very disturbing. [more inside]
What's at the margins of gender theory
I am looking for trans-affirmative, anti-sexist writing (or audio or video) that frame gender somewhat differently than is the current dominant [left] framing. [more inside]
Honoring a bi partner in a straight relationship?
I (M) am entering into an LTR with a woman I’ve known for a long time who came out as bi late in life and recently, and is struggling with reconciling things. Other than giving her her own time and space, what can I do each day to help with that and make sure she doesn’t feel erased? [more inside]
Online community for queer women
Where do queer women hang out online? [more inside]
How to navigate differences in physicality, when to call it quits
We're both in our mid 30s. GF and I (male) always knew that our levels of physicality differed. At the beginning of our relationship, it didn't seem like an unfixable problem. Now, it's huge. [more inside]
Involuntary celibate but not like that
I'm single, have no prospects for dating or even casual sex, and finding it hard to cope. [more inside]
Newly divorced, hoping to enter the kink scene
I'm going through a divorce with a woman who had previously been into a fetish lifestyle and acclimated me into a Dom role over five years. Now that she has decided to go her own way, I'm mourning the loss of my role as a Dom, and I'm also interested in being a switch. [more inside]
It's all a spectrum
Still questioning my gender and sexuality in my 30s. Help me figure it out? [more inside]
I can't stand to look in mirrors. That's not me. What's wrong with me?
Queer mefites and/or mefites with some mental health background, can I draw on your experience to help me understand what's happening in my head? [more inside]
Catching up on sexual experience and skills
For reasons, I have not had much sex in my life. I am looking to learn now the kinds of skills and experience that you would expect a late 30s female (heterosexual) to have. Practice is the obvious answer, but seeing as I can’t control who wants to sleep with me, can you also lead me to books, videos, podcasts, anything like that that I can look at on my own beforehand to lessen the rejection from Tinder dates when they figure out I am bad in bed. Please assume I have really absolutely no idea about anything (if I know it already I will happily ignore that advice)
Understanding Sexual Identities Better to Find My Place
Can someone help an inexperienced Generation X-er struggling (i) with differentiating biological sex, gender identity, and sexual attraction, and (ii) with where they self-identify on same? I am wondering if someone could explain how gender identity is distinct from sexual attraction; and also what one might find/look for, within themselves, that might suggest they are nonbinary. [more inside]
I've heard of Gallows Humour but this....
How much of a red flag would playful references to violence be in a new relationship? [more inside]
What else does to you what watching “The Barrel” does to you?
A friend and I were recently enraptured by the video for The Barrel by Aldous Harding (The first 3 minutes isn’t even the weird bit). It’s Lynchian I guess, but with intense emotions, complex sexuality and ironic femininity. What else might we explore in music videos and other visual art forms?
Queer signaling 101 for the bisexual woman
I’m a bisexual (or maybe pansexual? I don’t know, I just like people) cis woman, and there’s a lesbian woman at my gym that I’m interested in getting to know better and maybe asking out. Would it be weird or inappropriate for me to wear a rainbow headband as an attempt at signaling “Hey, I’m queer, too!”? At the same time, I don’t want her to assume I’m lesbian when I’m not.
A polyamorous pickle perhaps
Stuck in a weird polyamorous pickle and not sure what a clear path might be. In a happy poly marriage, best friend is in a happy monogamous marriage, and have developed feelings for her that seem serious and won't go away. Poly people especially, please weigh in. [more inside]
Intersectional Fantasy Novels?
Trying to find fantasy novels addressing contemporary issues. Help? [more inside]
Books that will help me explain gender theory to an eleven year-old
My friend's kid is going through a comprehensive sex ed class, and she's really having issues with her first confrontation with the idea of gendered expectations. Any suggestions as to any books I can give her that might help that would be appropriate for an eleven year-old? [more inside]
Sex positions and significant height difference [semi-NSFW]
I'm a 6'0 cisgender woman married to a 5'4 cisgender man. We have a healthy and enthusiastic sex life but, due to the significant difference in height, feel a bit limited by the number of sex positions we're able to enjoy. Internet searches have been pretty unhelpful. We're hoping the hivemind can help us out. [more inside]
Web content about sex and stuff
Looking to beef up my RSS feed with good stuff about sex and sexuality. What are the best, most reliable sources of content out there? [more inside]
Boyfriend practices semen retention. It sucks. What can I do?
My boyfriend abstains from ejaculation during sex and sexual activities. It makes me feel tremendously frustrated, sad, and turned-off. I have no clue how to even begin to unpack why I feel this way, or how to navigate the inevitable discussion I'll need to have about it with him. [more inside]
please suggest essential articles on gender/feminism/sexuality
I will be teaching an intersectional intro to gender studies class; I'm really looking forward to it, but it's been a while. I have a good required anthology, but my supplementary reading list needs updating. Please recommend what you consider essential articles on gender issues from the last couple of years. (No books please.) Non-US-centric articles particularly welcome. Most students are taking it as a required course and will have little/no background knowledge, so the more accessible the better. Thank you!
Why am I invisible to men?
I'm a woman in my late 20s. My entire life, I've never made it onto men's radars as a romantic option unless I've assertively positioned myself there. Even in online dating where women are supposedly flooded with male attention and interest, I sent out more messages than I received, and most of them went unanswered. What's wrong with me? Am I simply too ugly? Not womanly or desirable enough? [more inside]
Seeking nontraditional queer narratives
Nearly every queer character in every work of art I've experienced seems to figure out that they're queer easily and effortlessly. They fall in love or are hopelessly attracted to someone of the same gender, and quickly settle on a label (bi or gay or pan) to match. It's assumed that the romantic orientation matches the sexual orientation. Asexuality doesn't seem to exist. "Questioning" your sexuality is really just the process of coming to terms with the fact that you're not straight. But I want to experience works, in any medium (film, novels, comics...), fiction or nonfiction, where a character doesn't find it all so simple. [more inside]
Diverse, inclusive resources on sexuality
Looking for diverse, inclusive resources on sexuality. [more inside]
Should I out myself as bisexual in an academic job application?
I'm a bisexual cis white man applying for faculty jobs in some social science/humanities fields. There are two reasons why I'm considering mentioning my sexuality: first, that many jobs want me to talk about how and why I'm qualified to teach to diverse student populations, and second that I would be interested in teaching gender and sexuality courses. I would probably follow this advice on how to go about mentioning it, slipping in some "As a queer scholar, I ..." language along the way. [more inside]
Bicurious... maybe?
After 34 years of considering myself straight, I've had some feels lately that have me wondering if maybe I am less straight than I thought? Along with those come lots of other feels about appropriation and being an impostor and feeling kind of confusingly scared and sad. How do I even start unpacking all this? [more inside]
Improved Sexuality via Independent Study
I'm a queer woman in my early 30s not currently in a relationship. I think about sex a LOT. What can I do now (next 3-6 months?) to make partnered sex better when I am in a long-term relationship again? [more inside]
Set my sexpectations
What are realistic expectations for a woman to have of a man in the bedroom? Is it reasonable to expect him to multitask? And what's the limit of "Just tell him what you want him to do"? NSFW details inside. [more inside]
Tips on Coming to Terms with Sexuality? And a bit of other stuff..
I'm a woman in my early twenties who is experiencing attraction to women and I'm confused. I’m feeling attraction towards my best friend who is bisexual, but I’m not sure if I should act on it, due to morality and fears that she won’t be receptive. How can I explore this identity without acting in ways I might regret? I’d like to build my confidence before I become apathetic towards myself or stifle a part of myself. [more inside]
Donald Trump killed my sex life.
So my wife and I (both ladies) have a good relationship and a good sex life. Or at least, we had one until November 8th. Suddenly, any fun sexytime feelings I had were buried under a mountain of fear, anger, sadness, and apathy. Seeking advice on how to get my groove back, with details inside. [more inside]
My, how you've grown!
Can you help me think of examples of this longstanding creepy trope? The trope is when a man saves/helps/knows a girl in her youth, and has a paternal relationship to her if any.
Then he leaves (presumably to go on adventures) and he returns to the girl, who is: omg a *woman* now.
And they get together and it's not creepy at all (by the movie's standards). [more inside]
Balancing patience & readiness in sexuality
My partner is slowly working back towards sexuality/desiring sex (1-2/year). I'm being patient/respectful of her timetable, & can generally handle myself in the interim alright. Last time she felt up to being interested though, it was a bit out-of-the-blue for me and I had trouble going zero-to-interested quickly enough. Avoiding my dry-spell routines would probably help, but holding off for 0-12 months with uncertainty isn't exactly sustainable/pleasant. How do we balance this mis-sync? [more inside]
Popstar/Protégé Kink over Distance
My long-distance girlfriend and I are going to try a roleplay D/s esque scenario where she's the Popstar and I'm their protégé/assistant/houseboi type person. What sort of things could we do over distance? [more inside]
Sex life after mastectomy, need success stories
NSFW. I had a mastectomy with reconstruction in June, and it appears my ability to have an orgasm went the same way as my breasts. I really need to hear some success stories from women where surgery changed your sexuality, and recommendations/suggestions/anything please. [more inside]
Can this otherwise-promising affair survive a sexual incompatibility?
We've been seeing each other for 6 weeks or so, and it's a promising start. We're compatible in multiple ways, we clearly really dig each other, except for this one thing. NSFW snowflakes inside. [more inside]
Inconvenient sexual kinks and long-term relationships
Gentle, compassionate man seeks intelligent, self-assured woman for a life of emotional intimacy, tenderness, and borderline violent and demeaning sex. :( How could this possibly work? [more inside]