57 posts tagged with mother and family.
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How to be famous except on the internet

My bio-mother is a narcissist. I'm usually low contact and live on the other side of the planet. Against my better judgement I invited her to my recent wedding. There she shared her opinion about me/my activities which could have only come from intense internet searches. Is it possible to maintain my privacy while growing my public profile? [more inside]
posted by socky_puppy on Feb 11, 2023 - 12 answers

Tell me about your relationships with your bipolar parent.

Mefites with parents with bipolar disorder, tell me about your relationships with your parent. I am trying, and failing, to take care of my mother. I feel that I cannot get this right, and I have a lot of mixed up feelings about her/the situation. I don't know too many other people who have parents with mental illness. How do you cope with your parent's mental illness? [more inside]
posted by unicorn chaser on Jan 16, 2023 - 11 answers

How do you relate with your older parent?

I'm looking for examples of the roles and boundaries that have proven helpful (or that you recommend avoiding) in your relationship with your elderly parent. [more inside]
posted by Superilla on Jul 19, 2022 - 8 answers

How can I help my brother and mother deal with each other?

They live together at home and I no longer live there, but I visit often. He's in his early 20s and I'm about 4 years older. He's been going through a rough time after graduating from college but taking a lot of his anger and frustrations out on my mom. It's tearing our small family apart. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 14, 2019 - 16 answers

concrete strategies for dealing with inevitable triggers

I need to go home and see my dad, who is sick. I haven't been home in 2 years. I will inevitably have to be around my mom and her disordered approaches to food and bodies (her own and her daughters'), which is very triggering for me. Please share ideas and coping strategies with me! [more inside]
posted by redwaterman on May 26, 2019 - 9 answers

I've ruined the carpet and think WW3 might erupt. Help!

Mental health issues wrapped up with hoarding accident inside. [more inside]
posted by Willow251 on Sep 3, 2018 - 15 answers

How can I honestly be there for my mother?

Looking for suggestions and mid to long-term strategies for being there and caring for my mom despite several issues related to my childhood. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by longjump on Nov 27, 2017 - 8 answers

Family question re siblings

Mrs. L’s two grand nieces (A. aged 11) and (S. aged 14) are back home with their mother from staying with their father for the summer break. This has been happening for the last several years with no problems. However, A. (previously very much a Mommy’s girl) now says she is unhappy and wants to return to live with her father. [more inside]
posted by lungtaworld on Aug 14, 2017 - 11 answers

Friend wants to meet my mom but my mom doesn't like her. How to handle?

I live in a studio apartment, across the country from where I grew up. My mom is visits me in my apartment every year, and stays with me for 2 weeks. I've lived out here in CA for 6 years, and have met really nice friends and built a social life all on my own (for the first time in my 34 years). One of the first friends I met out here, let's just call her J, she is a bit older than my mom (J is in her mid-60s and my mom is in her early 60s). J was my first friend out here and we met through a mutual love of taking long walks and we enjoy each other's company. [more inside]
posted by starpoint on Aug 5, 2017 - 25 answers

Is it possible to cut off just *one* toxic family member?

My mother is evil, but my siblings and father are nice (if passive and somewhat in denial). What to do? [more inside]
posted by Guinevere on Mar 27, 2017 - 23 answers

What does a healthy straight parents/queer child relationship look like?

Last week, I finally cut off my mother for trying to drive a wedge between me and my spouse again, repeatedly implying I was only angry because I must be mentally ill, and rewriting the last ten years of our relationship to make the problems between us purely the fault of my spouse's influence rather than the result years of increasing tension, mostly about my queerness. I want to know, as a sanity check, what good parent-child relationships look like even in the face of complications. Am I expecting too much? What is normal, and what is healthy? [more inside]
posted by sciatrix on Feb 25, 2017 - 38 answers

After the Accident

My father committed a serious lapse in judgment and now wants to act like nothing's changed. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 24, 2016 - 13 answers

What you said upset me, because I actually do care

On the phone the other day, my mom, after complaining (perhaps justifiably) that I didn't call her enough, said, "Sometimes, I think you don't really care that you have a family." I can't stop thinking about this and I want to figure out a way to address it with her. [more inside]
posted by pretentious illiterate on Oct 24, 2016 - 26 answers

Methods to build self-esteem in troubled mother?

How do I help to build self-esteem in my "crazy" (bipolar, BPD), overweight, aging, and unsuccessful mother, who lives in a small town with not much in the way of community, and who refuses to seek medical treatment for her mental health and physical issues? [more inside]
posted by erattacorrige on Jul 20, 2016 - 25 answers

Supporting boyfriend through mom's (terminal?) illness and the holidays

I've been dating a great guy for a few months now. About a month in he told me that his mom was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor 8 months before we met. His mom has done radiation and was seeming to get better in the last few months. He was making plans for me to meet his family for the first time on Thanksgiving. He just found out his mother has taken a turn for the worse (she's having difficulty walking), and I'd like to know: 1) how I can support him and 2) how to navigate meeting his family during this difficult time. [more inside]
posted by lafemma on Sep 29, 2015 - 11 answers

My mother's passive aggression hurts me. How to deal?

My mom is a lovely, intelligent, caring person. She also has lifelong untreated dysthymia. What's the best way to deal with her frequent, subtle passive aggression? (Wall of detail inside, feel free to skip to TL;DR if you have general advice for coping with passive aggression in family context.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 2, 2015 - 21 answers

How does a person change his relationship with toxic parents?

I don't want to be around my parents, but my guilt keeps me in contact with them. How can I get to a place where I don't feel bad about not interacting with them unless it's on my terms? [more inside]
posted by stedman15 on Sep 24, 2014 - 18 answers

Mother got a job in my workplace behind my back.

I have been working a steady job at a fairly close-knit company for about 3 years, and was recently promoted. My mother applied behind my back and got a job in the same company. We do not get along. Should I quit? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 7, 2014 - 30 answers

Setting boundries with parents, what is the best approach at 30?

I am 30 years old, I have been pretty independent (I left NY to move to VA when I was 21 to go to college and have been here since). My parents recently moved 3 miles from my house about two years ago... it is a blessing, but sometimes it is difficult. I feel I carry "guilt" that I need to keep them company or keep my Mom busy since they don't have any friends or family here, so it makes me feel like I owe them a lot of my time since they basically moved here for me. If I dont call her or see her twice a week its like I've "abandoned" them. How do I get my parents to see this without it sounding like I don't "need" them in my life as much? [more inside]
posted by BrandNewMe on Nov 4, 2013 - 14 answers

How can I make my mother see she needs to see a psychologist?

Hi all, I don't live at home anymore, as I studied abroad, but frequently come home during holidays. During such return visit, and the ocassional visit by my family, I always get a good taste of my mother's uglier side. I dont want to diagnose her myself, but can say that her bipolar and control freakish behaviour is affecting the whole family (my father and brother) for as long as I can remember. I would dare to even describe it as abusive; minor problems like a dirty plate forgotten on a kitchen counter can escalate into agressive full blown shout out, and in general there were moments where I really had to remind myself that, whoa, this is my mother. [more inside]
posted by ahtlast93 on Aug 31, 2013 - 13 answers

Need advice - Taking care of my mother.

What should I do about my mother? I don't get along with her or like her, nor can I afford to have her live with me. Yet she has nowhere to go. I'm in Canada. What are my options? [more inside]
posted by j1sh on Apr 8, 2013 - 38 answers

My family is in trouble. To what extent is it my duty to help?

My sister (late 30s) has recently given birth to a baby who is probably affected by Down syndrome. There will most likely not be a father in the picture. She also has an 8 y.o. daughter from a different, also absent father. They live at my mother’s house in a small town. My sister has a story of emotional instability and I often fear for my niece and nephew. My sister was molested by my father when she was in her late teens. She is extremely dependent on (and at the same time hostile to) my mother. My mother (divorced), in turn, is struggling to help her and the little children, while having to deal with lack of money and her own (physical) health issues. I (male) am the middle child, 8 years younger than my sister. I´ve lived in a big city for the last 6 years. I´m economically independent (yet also struggling) and starting a career in academia. I feel that if I don´t go back to my home town and help my family, things will deteriorate further. On the other hand, my chances of professional growth would be reduced by moving back there. Do you think a sacrifice of this sort is the right thing to do? [more inside]
posted by Basque13 on Mar 19, 2013 - 29 answers

80 year old MIL talks incessantly

My 80 year old mother- in- law of 30 years talks non-stop about things I am not interested in----- but the people-pleaser in me keeps listening to her politely and I end up feeling exhausted. [more inside]
posted by seekingsimplicity on Mar 5, 2013 - 22 answers

How do I help my wife who is bed ridden with stomach flu?

My wife has stomach flu. What can I do for her? [more inside]
posted by alshain on Nov 18, 2012 - 31 answers

This year, I'm thankful for conflict avoidance.

My mother and I are not talking. I am thinking about skipping Thanksgiving. How do I do this without causing even more turmoil? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 25, 2012 - 32 answers

Help me help Mom.

Mom is depressed. She has always been depressed. Is there anything I can do to help? If not, how do I cope? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 11, 2012 - 9 answers

How do I handle my mother's crush on my boyfriend's (much younger) brother?

My mother, who has borderline personality disorder, has thrown a tremendous wrench into my relationship. I am so overwhelmed by this right now. Help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 17, 2012 - 45 answers

Worried about my little sisters

I'm worried that my little sisters may be in an abusive situation, but don't know what's really going on or where I should go from here. [more inside]
posted by whalebreath on Apr 26, 2012 - 18 answers

Help me deal with my mother's poor planning

I need advice on dealing with my family's flakiness. [more inside]
posted by hought20 on Mar 22, 2012 - 15 answers

When your parent is seeing a Bad Person, do you have to try to accept that person into the family?

I've lost objectivity. It seems clear that my mother's 'boyfriend' is a giant loser, but she wants him to be accepted by us and included in family events. What do we do? [more inside]
posted by kitcat on Oct 3, 2011 - 29 answers

How do I get the most out of therapy regarding issues with my mother?

Ok, therapy. Now what? [more inside]
posted by Run.Faster on Sep 21, 2011 - 5 answers

Mother-in-law troubles

I need some help regarding my prospective mother-in-law's involvement in our lives. [more inside]
posted by smockpuppet on Sep 12, 2011 - 24 answers

Ill Apron Strings

My mother doesn't take of her health at all, she ignores everyone's health advice when she has problems, and it's making me feel guilty and frustrated for not trying hard enough and not being able to support her. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 13, 2011 - 13 answers

It's time for Baby Buster to leave the nest.

What can I do to help my family break out of a negative relationship cycle? [more inside]
posted by Kitty Stardust on May 3, 2011 - 16 answers

Help me feel better about leaving my baby for a business trip

I am going to be away from my baby for five days. Help me know that he will be OK without me. [more inside]
posted by bq on Feb 9, 2011 - 17 answers

There's no "there" there.

How do I talk to my mother about her depression, especially when I'm trying to create better boundaries but simultaneously plan for my family's future? [more inside]
posted by Madamina on Oct 25, 2010 - 9 answers

No June Cleaver here

What’s it like to grow up with two working parents? [more inside]
posted by yawper on Oct 14, 2010 - 48 answers

where did i come from?

superly sockpuppet birds and the bees filter: i was date-raped and now i am negotiating some intense babydaddy issues in court. he has a new girlfriend and a new baby. my child is 6 and understandably pondering how this is all possible. babydaddy was not significantly present for about 5 years. i am a very much single mother and i and my parents are all that my child has known in a truly significant way...how to approach the question of origin truthfully but sensitively? [more inside]
posted by bright and shiny on Aug 31, 2010 - 36 answers

Help me to repair my relationship with my mother without going insane

I'm in my late twenties, and my unhappily married parents are getting a rather acrimonious divorce. Both parents want my support, but I've sort of been mostly focusing on my father, as he is depressed, lonely (my mother has a new partner) and has to sell the family home by himself. This has caused my (formerly very close) relationship with my mother to disintegrate to the point where we are no longer on speaking terms, which has placed a lot of unwanted stress on me (I've just come out of an eight year relationship). How do I patch things up with my mother without everything getting emotional? (Long explanation inside) [more inside]
posted by Piroska on Jun 18, 2010 - 18 answers

Punk rock teenage parental angst, but I'm an adult.

So I'm thinking about family therapy. I'm a 25 year old female with a strained relationship with her mother. Has group therapy helped you sort out issues with your family? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 27, 2010 - 9 answers

Hounded by mom

My mentally ill mother hired a private investigator to track me down... among other things. Please help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 8, 2010 - 33 answers

How do I prepare for my mother's passing?

How do I prepare for my mother's passing? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 15, 2010 - 16 answers

How to handle Christmas stay envy?

What's the best way to stand up to my mother about Christmas and to handle her jealousy about our better relationship with my partner's parents? She's determined to make the holiday season into a zero sum game with my partner's mother [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 22, 2009 - 34 answers

Am I My Brother's Keeper?

My parents are divorced; my father has custody of my younger brother, but is leaving the country for a few years for work. He wants me to live with and take care of my 16 year old brother until he graduates from HS. I love my brother, but I have some objections and I’m not sure how to handle this. (long explanation inside!) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 15, 2009 - 59 answers

How can I forgive my mother for losing some of my most treasured items?

How can I forgive my mother for losing some of my most treasured items? This may sound like a stupid/trivial problem but it's really eating away at me inside. [more inside]
posted by starpoint on Oct 13, 2009 - 55 answers

Please help me reply to my mom's email concerning Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)

My mom sent me an email today acknowledging for the very first time (that I am aware of) that she experiences symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorder. I would like to write the best response that I can to her, with some links or information about possible next steps. I don't want to screw this up, please help me help her! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 30, 2009 - 8 answers

I saw mommy kissing an alcoholic neanderthal...

I am deeply concerned for my mother, and hate her boyfriend. [more inside]
posted by kaseijin on Jul 17, 2009 - 27 answers

Should I try to convince my mother to move across the country so I can take care of her and improve our relationship?

Due to years of my mother’s mental illness, dependency on prescription medication, and wildly varying levels lying leading to all sort of trust issues, I am a 30-year old woman with a very complicated relationship with my aging mom. I feel more than a little guilt and sadness about this, and authentically would like to improve our relationship. There are, of course complications. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 3, 2009 - 9 answers

My parents drive me crazy.

How do I deal with my parents on limited resources without sending all of us into a fit? (likely to be TL;DR) [more inside]
posted by divabat on Feb 20, 2009 - 13 answers

Money from crazy parent, accept or reject?

I received a check for $3,000 from my mother who I have not spoken to for nearly seven years. Should I cash the check? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 29, 2008 - 44 answers

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