Social Media Pro-Tips
March 11, 2023 10:37 AM Subscribe
Do you have any little rules or personal policies that you use to improve your social media experience/be a better or more responsible social media user? What are they?
As an example of the kind of suggestions I'm looking for, here are two of my own social media rules:
1. I don't share recipes or other practical/housekeeping tips or ideas that I haven't tried using myself.
2. I don't start arguments on other people's Facebook pages. If someone wants to try to refute something I've posted on my page, I'll discuss it with them if I think it worthwhile, and I also enjoy the tactical advantage of my friends weighing in to back me up.:D However, if someone posts something on their page that I think is harmful misinformation or so appalling that it requires a rebuttal, I find an article or a meme or maybe write something myself (without referring directly to them) that I think serves as a good counterargument, post it on my own page, and hope for the best.
I've found these policies have served me well and I would love to hear what self-governing ideas you've come up with that have enhanced your social media activity.
As an example of the kind of suggestions I'm looking for, here are two of my own social media rules:
1. I don't share recipes or other practical/housekeeping tips or ideas that I haven't tried using myself.
2. I don't start arguments on other people's Facebook pages. If someone wants to try to refute something I've posted on my page, I'll discuss it with them if I think it worthwhile, and I also enjoy the tactical advantage of my friends weighing in to back me up.:D However, if someone posts something on their page that I think is harmful misinformation or so appalling that it requires a rebuttal, I find an article or a meme or maybe write something myself (without referring directly to them) that I think serves as a good counterargument, post it on my own page, and hope for the best.
I've found these policies have served me well and I would love to hear what self-governing ideas you've come up with that have enhanced your social media activity.
Delete the app, so you have to seek it out. Never respond to anything from anyone I don’t know personally.
posted by aspersioncast at 11:55 AM on March 11, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by aspersioncast at 11:55 AM on March 11, 2023 [1 favorite]
I used to have this rule - it was hard to follow so I stopped - that any post should be a question rather than a declarative statement. The idea was that I’d get other people’s opinions before stating my own.
posted by kevinbelt at 11:55 AM on March 11, 2023
posted by kevinbelt at 11:55 AM on March 11, 2023
The rule that I made for myself when I was trying to cut down on Twitter usage, which I need to start enforcing on myself again is:
Follow people whose lives you care about (FRIENDS, not celebrities), people who make art that delights you, and people who consistently share useful and interesting information that's relevant to you.
Unfollow people (and/or turn off retweets) when they don't fit those categories, or when you definitely want to stay informed about That Important Issue but now you're way too informed and anxious about it.
(I think I might be better off reading one or two progressive news sites and one local newspaper and not relying on Twitter at all for political news and punditry.)
posted by Jeanne at 12:10 PM on March 11, 2023 [6 favorites]
Follow people whose lives you care about (FRIENDS, not celebrities), people who make art that delights you, and people who consistently share useful and interesting information that's relevant to you.
Unfollow people (and/or turn off retweets) when they don't fit those categories, or when you definitely want to stay informed about That Important Issue but now you're way too informed and anxious about it.
(I think I might be better off reading one or two progressive news sites and one local newspaper and not relying on Twitter at all for political news and punditry.)
posted by Jeanne at 12:10 PM on March 11, 2023 [6 favorites]
1. I keep my accounts private
2. I don't post pictures of friends and loved ones without their permission (this also includes anyone's kids)
3. I try to keep things more or less light: cat photos/videos, current hyperfixation Pedro Pascal, witchy stuff
4. If I engage with someone's account, it's because I choose to do so and it's only to be nice
5. No hatefollows (life's too goddamn short for that)
posted by Kitteh at 12:12 PM on March 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
2. I don't post pictures of friends and loved ones without their permission (this also includes anyone's kids)
3. I try to keep things more or less light: cat photos/videos, current hyperfixation Pedro Pascal, witchy stuff
4. If I engage with someone's account, it's because I choose to do so and it's only to be nice
5. No hatefollows (life's too goddamn short for that)
posted by Kitteh at 12:12 PM on March 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
1) I don't downvote posts or comments on sites that allow for it (eg Reddit) - if they're blatantly violating site rules I'll flag or report them OR I'll write out a reply saying why I disagree with their position so they have a chance to reply to me. Just downvoting something I disagree with is a little passive-aggressive IMO.
2) similarly, if someone disagrees with me, even vehemently, that's fine, but I'm not going to engage with bad faith readings of my comment or outright personal attacks. Even if they have a point.
3) I'm not perfect, but when I have a conversation online I try to imagine sitting in front of the other person and saying my comment out loud to them. We all write and say things online we'd never dare say to someone's face. I really try to cut down on that behavior myself.
posted by fortitude25 at 12:34 PM on March 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
2) similarly, if someone disagrees with me, even vehemently, that's fine, but I'm not going to engage with bad faith readings of my comment or outright personal attacks. Even if they have a point.
3) I'm not perfect, but when I have a conversation online I try to imagine sitting in front of the other person and saying my comment out loud to them. We all write and say things online we'd never dare say to someone's face. I really try to cut down on that behavior myself.
posted by fortitude25 at 12:34 PM on March 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
No performative posting. Just because everyone is posting about Topic of the Week doesn’t mean that I have to or even should!
Block anyone who is making my life worse.
Post with vulnerability in appropriate spaces, but always in kind ways.
Don’t trauma dump or accept other people’s trauma dumping. If boundaries around this are violated, block. (I seem to be a magnet for people who want to tell Someone their intensely graphic trauma in very personal and inappropriate contexts.)
posted by Bottlecap at 12:39 PM on March 11, 2023
Block anyone who is making my life worse.
Post with vulnerability in appropriate spaces, but always in kind ways.
Don’t trauma dump or accept other people’s trauma dumping. If boundaries around this are violated, block. (I seem to be a magnet for people who want to tell Someone their intensely graphic trauma in very personal and inappropriate contexts.)
posted by Bottlecap at 12:39 PM on March 11, 2023
On Twitter, I unfollow or block anyone who says something I think is mean, even if I generally agree with them. ("Mean" is obviously going to be defined by the individual.)
posted by FencingGal at 12:52 PM on March 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by FencingGal at 12:52 PM on March 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
^ Yes!!^
I'd like to add I take a very Marie Kondo approach to who I follow. Some folks I just unfollow when their content doesn't vibe with me anymore. I cull and cultivate ruthlessly.
posted by Kitteh at 1:18 PM on March 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
I'd like to add I take a very Marie Kondo approach to who I follow. Some folks I just unfollow when their content doesn't vibe with me anymore. I cull and cultivate ruthlessly.
posted by Kitteh at 1:18 PM on March 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
I'm on social media mostly for work. So far, I've managed to mostly enjoy it and avoid having it take over my life too much. A few rules have helped:
-I don't post anything I would be uncomfortable seeing attributed to me on a billboard downtown. I'm true to my values and my personality, but anyone viewing my Twitter feed is getting the version of me they'd see at a neighbourhood BBQ, not the one my partner or closest friends get. FB is a little more personal, but not much.
-I don't get into arguments with anybody. I delete and block all nastiness. If someone contradicts me, I'll say something like "thanks for sharing your views." If they push further, I will mute/block the second I feel like it.
-I make liberal use of unfollow/mute/restricted lists to manage who sees my stuff. If I get a bad vibe from somebody, but I think that blocking or unfriending them will create drama, I'll unfollow and then add them to a restricted list so they see very little of what I post.
-I read anything I share or retweet, and if the stories are critical of somebody, I'll take steps to make sure I understand what's going on. I try to avoid participating in pile-ons.
-Unless I'm promoting an event, I won't talk about plans. I'll post photos etc of things after they're done. Not only is that a good security tip, it helps avoid random know-it-alls telling you what to do.
posted by rpfields at 1:34 PM on March 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
-I don't post anything I would be uncomfortable seeing attributed to me on a billboard downtown. I'm true to my values and my personality, but anyone viewing my Twitter feed is getting the version of me they'd see at a neighbourhood BBQ, not the one my partner or closest friends get. FB is a little more personal, but not much.
-I don't get into arguments with anybody. I delete and block all nastiness. If someone contradicts me, I'll say something like "thanks for sharing your views." If they push further, I will mute/block the second I feel like it.
-I make liberal use of unfollow/mute/restricted lists to manage who sees my stuff. If I get a bad vibe from somebody, but I think that blocking or unfriending them will create drama, I'll unfollow and then add them to a restricted list so they see very little of what I post.
-I read anything I share or retweet, and if the stories are critical of somebody, I'll take steps to make sure I understand what's going on. I try to avoid participating in pile-ons.
-Unless I'm promoting an event, I won't talk about plans. I'll post photos etc of things after they're done. Not only is that a good security tip, it helps avoid random know-it-alls telling you what to do.
posted by rpfields at 1:34 PM on March 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
Don’t post trauma porn or violent “omg news” stuff, especially videos of racialized people being murdered or maimed. It’s ok to talk about it, but don’t repost the images.
All social justice posts must have a concrete call to action. Nobody needs “awareness” of something bad happening to someone else, and for members of that group it’s very distressing and triggering to keep seeing tons of content about violence stains people like you but uwith no actual intention to help. So always do the extra few minutes of research to include a concrete way to help like a link to a petition or donation fund or protest or some other actual real-world ACTION. The goal isn’t to learn about injustice, the goal is to help STOP injustice.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 3:46 PM on March 11, 2023 [6 favorites]
All social justice posts must have a concrete call to action. Nobody needs “awareness” of something bad happening to someone else, and for members of that group it’s very distressing and triggering to keep seeing tons of content about violence stains people like you but uwith no actual intention to help. So always do the extra few minutes of research to include a concrete way to help like a link to a petition or donation fund or protest or some other actual real-world ACTION. The goal isn’t to learn about injustice, the goal is to help STOP injustice.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 3:46 PM on March 11, 2023 [6 favorites]
Do not cause cringe to others as you would have them refrain from causing cringe to you.
posted by zadcat at 6:14 PM on March 11, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by zadcat at 6:14 PM on March 11, 2023 [4 favorites]
A friend wrote up how he has revamped his Twitter usage in response to world crises and a few of his tips that have particularly resonated with me: "Replace with better news sources," "If I must be angry, I’ve tried to follow a rule that I only express that offline if I am also telling other people who are angry how to constructively address the problem."
Other self-governing rules include:
Attach my legal name to my profiles/usernames, to make it less likely I'll say something regrettable. [This is something I do and I am not recommending it for everyone.]
Seconding rhiannonstone: Read the article before I share it.
If someone's being outrageously awful, I don't reply with rejoinders; I use flagging/reporting tools to report them to moderators/Trust and Safety folks. "Flag It And Move On."
I use limit-setting tools to help me limit my time on specific sites and in specific apps.
The "mute for 7 days" option on Mastodon is awesome and I use it liberally when someone says something that rubs me the wrong way but isn't inherently so offputting that I never want to hear from the person again. A few days later I may have a different point of view. I recall a specific time when I used the temporary mute option to help me calm down from external stressors so I could then later come back to a conversation and explain to someone how he'd peeved me; this was someone I did want to keep in my online circles and the temp mute gave me a tool to help me do that.
I use chronological timelines (as are the default in Mastodon, Tumblr, Dreamwidth, and several other more indie social media sites) most of the time, so I get a varied sample of what people are saying, not just what's gotten the most "engagement."
posted by brainwane at 6:14 PM on March 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
Other self-governing rules include:
Attach my legal name to my profiles/usernames, to make it less likely I'll say something regrettable. [This is something I do and I am not recommending it for everyone.]
Seconding rhiannonstone: Read the article before I share it.
If someone's being outrageously awful, I don't reply with rejoinders; I use flagging/reporting tools to report them to moderators/Trust and Safety folks. "Flag It And Move On."
I use limit-setting tools to help me limit my time on specific sites and in specific apps.
The "mute for 7 days" option on Mastodon is awesome and I use it liberally when someone says something that rubs me the wrong way but isn't inherently so offputting that I never want to hear from the person again. A few days later I may have a different point of view. I recall a specific time when I used the temporary mute option to help me calm down from external stressors so I could then later come back to a conversation and explain to someone how he'd peeved me; this was someone I did want to keep in my online circles and the temp mute gave me a tool to help me do that.
I use chronological timelines (as are the default in Mastodon, Tumblr, Dreamwidth, and several other more indie social media sites) most of the time, so I get a varied sample of what people are saying, not just what's gotten the most "engagement."
posted by brainwane at 6:14 PM on March 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
Don't respond to anybody unless you are pretty certain that they will personally be happy to hear your comment.
No personal good comes from 'scoring points' with adversarial comments, no matter how wrong or awful the original material may be.
posted by SaltySalticid at 7:15 PM on March 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
No personal good comes from 'scoring points' with adversarial comments, no matter how wrong or awful the original material may be.
posted by SaltySalticid at 7:15 PM on March 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
Don't hate follow. If someone (whether I know them or not) is annoying to me, then I need to unfollow.
Punch up, not down.
Call out racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, and ableism in my small communities and spheres of influence; even if I don't change the mind of the person who posted, I might sway someone else and provide some support to folks who were targeted.
posted by bluedaisy at 8:24 PM on March 11, 2023 [5 favorites]
Punch up, not down.
Call out racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, and ableism in my small communities and spheres of influence; even if I don't change the mind of the person who posted, I might sway someone else and provide some support to folks who were targeted.
posted by bluedaisy at 8:24 PM on March 11, 2023 [5 favorites]
I have three, one of which is actually a trick I figured out here on Metafilter.
I learned on an alumni mailing list to never reply to a comment that pisses me off with a criticism because it picks fights. Instead I make a comment of my own to says something positive about the topic that I agree with (so, not "A sucks" but "the opposite of A rules") or reply supportively to a good non-angry criticism of the angry-making comment.
Here on Metafilter I've learned that if I have to repeat a point or circle around it three times that I need to let it drop. Either I'm failing to communicate, the people I'm talking to aren't understanding me, or there's a deliberate disconnect. Especially if it's the latter, I don't want to mess with whoever it is.
This one is Facebook-specific: I never comment on public posts. I occasionally make exceptions for public posts for big life changes (congratulations on your wedding; I'm sorry for your loss) and profile picture changes (what a great photo). My own account is locked to friends.
Of tips already posted, I support "read the article before you share it", using the temporary mute function on your service of choice regularly, and regularly curating your feed to remove accounts that aren't doing it for you. Especially on Facebook, I block early and often.
posted by gentlyepigrams at 9:47 PM on March 11, 2023 [1 favorite]
I learned on an alumni mailing list to never reply to a comment that pisses me off with a criticism because it picks fights. Instead I make a comment of my own to says something positive about the topic that I agree with (so, not "A sucks" but "the opposite of A rules") or reply supportively to a good non-angry criticism of the angry-making comment.
Here on Metafilter I've learned that if I have to repeat a point or circle around it three times that I need to let it drop. Either I'm failing to communicate, the people I'm talking to aren't understanding me, or there's a deliberate disconnect. Especially if it's the latter, I don't want to mess with whoever it is.
This one is Facebook-specific: I never comment on public posts. I occasionally make exceptions for public posts for big life changes (congratulations on your wedding; I'm sorry for your loss) and profile picture changes (what a great photo). My own account is locked to friends.
Of tips already posted, I support "read the article before you share it", using the temporary mute function on your service of choice regularly, and regularly curating your feed to remove accounts that aren't doing it for you. Especially on Facebook, I block early and often.
posted by gentlyepigrams at 9:47 PM on March 11, 2023 [1 favorite]
Be a cheerleader for friends and maybe for strangers. Life's hard enough. Cheering people on is fun. I don't actually care at all about your hair, but if you post about it, you do, so what the heck, I can ♥ it.
Decide what you want from social media, then pursue that. I re/post art and quotes that I enjoy, some funny or interesting bits, weather geekery, and lots of politics.
I will engage in discussion, because the person spouting off may be an unrepentant asshat, but their family and others may be otherwise, and thoughtful discussion may help them reconsider. This is how community works. In my experience, I will end up blocked, and that's fine and also how community works. This generally follows calling out foul behavior/ speech.
Read The Fabulous Article.
Mostly, Don't be an asshole.
posted by theora55 at 11:46 AM on March 12, 2023 [1 favorite]
Decide what you want from social media, then pursue that. I re/post art and quotes that I enjoy, some funny or interesting bits, weather geekery, and lots of politics.
I will engage in discussion, because the person spouting off may be an unrepentant asshat, but their family and others may be otherwise, and thoughtful discussion may help them reconsider. This is how community works. In my experience, I will end up blocked, and that's fine and also how community works. This generally follows calling out foul behavior/ speech.
Read The Fabulous Article.
Mostly, Don't be an asshole.
posted by theora55 at 11:46 AM on March 12, 2023 [1 favorite]
My only real rules are:
1) Don't try to argue with people who don't really want to have a conversation,
2) Every 3-6 months I go thru my Instagram follows and unfollow a bunch that are accounts whose purpose is to sell me stuff. Then I go and try to find a bunch of activists, artists, educators, or people doing good in the world who I can follow and learn from. I have learned a lot this way and it's awesome.
posted by fairlynearlyready at 11:15 PM on March 12, 2023 [3 favorites]
1) Don't try to argue with people who don't really want to have a conversation,
2) Every 3-6 months I go thru my Instagram follows and unfollow a bunch that are accounts whose purpose is to sell me stuff. Then I go and try to find a bunch of activists, artists, educators, or people doing good in the world who I can follow and learn from. I have learned a lot this way and it's awesome.
posted by fairlynearlyready at 11:15 PM on March 12, 2023 [3 favorites]
I:
Unfollow liberally. If seeing someone's posts annoys me, I drop them even if I get a vicarious thrill from their BS or if I'm not even sure why they make me feel yucky.
Post really honest stuff even if it doesn't make me look great. I want to be real rather than cool, and I want my friends to get a break from hyper-curated feeds and see that they're normal.
Call out friends if they're being crappy.
Get my news from RSS feeds I've carefully chosen, rather than from social media.
posted by metasarah at 12:55 PM on March 13, 2023
Unfollow liberally. If seeing someone's posts annoys me, I drop them even if I get a vicarious thrill from their BS or if I'm not even sure why they make me feel yucky.
Post really honest stuff even if it doesn't make me look great. I want to be real rather than cool, and I want my friends to get a break from hyper-curated feeds and see that they're normal.
Call out friends if they're being crappy.
Get my news from RSS feeds I've carefully chosen, rather than from social media.
posted by metasarah at 12:55 PM on March 13, 2023
My main things are:
If I am going to answer a question that someone asked on social media, I will answer it exactly as it was asked. Meaning: if someone asks for a 3-ingredient recipe, I will not offer a 4-ingredient because I think it's just as easy. If someone asks for specialist recommendations in a specific town, I won't suggest one that is a couple of towns over, even if it seems really close. Basically, I respect the parameters of the question asked in a very literal way, even when I feel like I have extra knowledge that might be related to contribute.
When I ask questions, I lay out specific boundaries around which answers are welcome/not welcome, and enforce them in the thread.
posted by virve at 9:29 PM on March 13, 2023
If I am going to answer a question that someone asked on social media, I will answer it exactly as it was asked. Meaning: if someone asks for a 3-ingredient recipe, I will not offer a 4-ingredient because I think it's just as easy. If someone asks for specialist recommendations in a specific town, I won't suggest one that is a couple of towns over, even if it seems really close. Basically, I respect the parameters of the question asked in a very literal way, even when I feel like I have extra knowledge that might be related to contribute.
When I ask questions, I lay out specific boundaries around which answers are welcome/not welcome, and enforce them in the thread.
posted by virve at 9:29 PM on March 13, 2023
my rules for Instagram:
1. hide everyone’s stories by default. exceptions are my favorite brands or content creators, and anyone whose stories i never regret seeing.
2. try to only look at stories of people who look at my stories. this might be me-specific, but i post very infrequently, so this rule helps me minimize how often i find myself aimlessly going through people’s IG stories.
3. i set notifications for people whose posts i never want to miss. in my case, my spouse and my mom.
i’m a confident, satisfied person, and yet i noticed that random IG rabbit holes would sometimes affect my mood without me realizing it.
but i can’t share these rules with my friends because if they follow it, we’ll never see each other’s stories. 😆
posted by shrimpetouffee at 10:23 PM on March 17, 2023
1. hide everyone’s stories by default. exceptions are my favorite brands or content creators, and anyone whose stories i never regret seeing.
2. try to only look at stories of people who look at my stories. this might be me-specific, but i post very infrequently, so this rule helps me minimize how often i find myself aimlessly going through people’s IG stories.
3. i set notifications for people whose posts i never want to miss. in my case, my spouse and my mom.
i’m a confident, satisfied person, and yet i noticed that random IG rabbit holes would sometimes affect my mood without me realizing it.
but i can’t share these rules with my friends because if they follow it, we’ll never see each other’s stories. 😆
posted by shrimpetouffee at 10:23 PM on March 17, 2023
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2. [Possibly unpopular, but this one is important to me and I think following it makes the internet a slightly less unkind place] Don't turn people just living their lives into A Post -- yes, that awful first date I overheard at the coffee shop was in public, so is that guy sleeping on the plane with his hair sticking up in funny positions, but if I post about it that extends way beyond the bounds of the cafe or plane and I have no idea what unintended consequences it could have. Even if there are no consequences, it's still just not cool.
3. Don't yuck someone's yum -- I try to follow this in all parts of life, but on social media it can be really easy to see someone post "Aww yeah I got a large fennel pizza I'm so excited for dinner" and want to respond "Ugh I hate fennel so much." It kinda feels like conversation and engagement, but it's usually just kinda rude! (Obviously this does not apply if someone is reveling in causing harm to others vs. just a food or TV show I dislike.)
4. Read the article before I share it
5. Block liberally -- I owe no one my time and attention. And remember I am owed no one else's when I realize I am the one who got blocked.
posted by rhiannonstone at 11:47 AM on March 11, 2023 [12 favorites]