Kitty troubles
November 5, 2018 8:54 AM Subscribe
I have 2 kitties - one that's 2 and one that's 6 months - and they used to be the best of friends. The older one treated the younger like her own kitten. But lately she's been hissing and swatting at him whenever he gets near? What is going on? How can I help??
I just got two cats from the Humane Society about 5 months ago. I picked up a 2 year old (Tango) and a kitten (Hops). For the first 4 months, Tango was like a mother to Hops. She cleaned him and played with him and seemed to show him how to climb trees. She would even bring him little mice to eat. It was so very sweet and I was so happy to see them getting along like this.
But recently I went away on a 3-week trip. The cats were left in the care of my partner and housemates, so I assume they barely knew I was gone. When I got home, they seemed fine, but the next day Tango started hissing and swatting at Hops whenever he got near her. This has gone on now for about a month. He keeps trying to play with her in his little kitten ways, but she pretty much always reacted badly to his attempts every time. It's breaking my little heart to see them like this now!!
Some years back, I used to have a mother cat and 2 of her kittens and the exact same thing happened with them. She was sweet and motherly when they were young, but as they grew older, she hissed and swatted at them whenever they came near her. I have looked all around the internet to see if this is just something that happens to mother/kitten relationships, but I'm not finding information that suggests this...
Does anyone know what is going on? Why her behavior might be changing? Is there anything I can do to make things better? It's so sad to see this little kitten keep trying to play with her and his big sad eyes when she pushes him away :-(
Thanks!! <3
I just got two cats from the Humane Society about 5 months ago. I picked up a 2 year old (Tango) and a kitten (Hops). For the first 4 months, Tango was like a mother to Hops. She cleaned him and played with him and seemed to show him how to climb trees. She would even bring him little mice to eat. It was so very sweet and I was so happy to see them getting along like this.
But recently I went away on a 3-week trip. The cats were left in the care of my partner and housemates, so I assume they barely knew I was gone. When I got home, they seemed fine, but the next day Tango started hissing and swatting at Hops whenever he got near her. This has gone on now for about a month. He keeps trying to play with her in his little kitten ways, but she pretty much always reacted badly to his attempts every time. It's breaking my little heart to see them like this now!!
Some years back, I used to have a mother cat and 2 of her kittens and the exact same thing happened with them. She was sweet and motherly when they were young, but as they grew older, she hissed and swatted at them whenever they came near her. I have looked all around the internet to see if this is just something that happens to mother/kitten relationships, but I'm not finding information that suggests this...
Does anyone know what is going on? Why her behavior might be changing? Is there anything I can do to make things better? It's so sad to see this little kitten keep trying to play with her and his big sad eyes when she pushes him away :-(
Thanks!! <3
Is the male neutered? If not, get him neutered.
posted by cooker girl at 9:05 AM on November 5, 2018 [9 favorites]
posted by cooker girl at 9:05 AM on November 5, 2018 [9 favorites]
This is SO hard to answer without seeing what the cats look like. You're gonna need to pay the cat tax.
posted by hydra77 at 9:08 AM on November 5, 2018 [33 favorites]
posted by hydra77 at 9:08 AM on November 5, 2018 [33 favorites]
As Hops is getting older and more independent, he may be too active for Tango. She’s hissing to get some personal space to be a lazy kitty. I would start playing with him to tire him out, and get some toys that are geared towards independent play.
posted by politikitty at 9:58 AM on November 5, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by politikitty at 9:58 AM on November 5, 2018 [1 favorite]
Agree that it’s time to get 6 month old kitty fixed if they're not yet. Male or female, you’ll suffer either way if you don’t do it now.
posted by cgg at 11:29 AM on November 5, 2018
posted by cgg at 11:29 AM on November 5, 2018
This behaviour you describe between an adopted, now-adolescent male and an older unrelated female cat is actually pretty common! This article touches on it briefly. It happens with larger cats, too: young males are often driven off to find their own territory. If he isn't already neutered, definitely have that done. Make sure they both have plenty of space to occupy, and make sure he isn't pouncing on her or stressing her out. If either start showing symptoms of distress, intervene.
They may settle back into a typical bonded-cat routine once he's an adult, but they're unlikely to return to the relationship they had when he was younger. It would be unusual for them to keep that mother-and-kitten relationship even if he was her kitten, though; eventually, most cats 'leave the nest,' emotionally if not physically, and (best-case scenario) the pair become friendly adults.
posted by halation at 12:23 PM on November 5, 2018 [3 favorites]
They may settle back into a typical bonded-cat routine once he's an adult, but they're unlikely to return to the relationship they had when he was younger. It would be unusual for them to keep that mother-and-kitten relationship even if he was her kitten, though; eventually, most cats 'leave the nest,' emotionally if not physically, and (best-case scenario) the pair become friendly adults.
posted by halation at 12:23 PM on November 5, 2018 [3 favorites]
Hops is reaching sexual maturity! Cats are by nature solitary and territorial (yeah, some cats do closely pair-bond, but it's not really the norm). Your older cat is letting the younger cat know that his kitten pass is being revoked and they are henceforth going to be relating to one another as adults.
My parents had 4 cats: a mother cat and three of her kittens that they kept and raised all together. All of them were spayed/neutered at the appropriate times, but as adults none of them were close friends. They tolerated one another, but I think all of them would have been just as happy if the other three weren't around at all.
posted by soren_lorensen at 1:14 PM on November 5, 2018 [2 favorites]
My parents had 4 cats: a mother cat and three of her kittens that they kept and raised all together. All of them were spayed/neutered at the appropriate times, but as adults none of them were close friends. They tolerated one another, but I think all of them would have been just as happy if the other three weren't around at all.
posted by soren_lorensen at 1:14 PM on November 5, 2018 [2 favorites]
Queens are typically quite standoffish to other adult cats. It’s just a cat thing.
posted by seanmpuckett at 2:12 PM on November 5, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by seanmpuckett at 2:12 PM on November 5, 2018 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Thanks, everyone, for your comments! I should have said when I posted that Hops is neutered.
posted by sarahpeller at 9:10 AM on November 8, 2018
posted by sarahpeller at 9:10 AM on November 8, 2018
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posted by I claim sanctuary at 9:02 AM on November 5, 2018 [7 favorites]