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Saturday, January 10, 2004

IF IT'S TRUE 

If the Angels do in fact land Vlad Guerrero, let's take a look at what they have, presuming they don't trade David Eckstein and Garret Anderson doesn't demand a trade if/when his extension talks hit a snag...

C- Bengie Molina
1B- Darin Erstad
2B- Adam Kennedy
SS- David Eckstein
3B- Troy Glaus
LF- Jose Guillen
CF- Garret Anderson
RF- Vlad Guerrero
DH- Tim Salmon

Their starting rotation as it stands right now (assuming they don't trade Wash or Ortiz) still has Jarrod Washburn, Ramon Ortiz, and John Lackey in addition to Bartolo Colon. The bullpen still has Brendan Donnelly, Francisco Rodriguez, that nut Ben Weber, and Troy Percival.

The Mariners?

C- Dan Wilson (let's face it, Davis isn't going to get the playing time he deserves)
1B- John Olerud
2B- Bret Boone
SS- Rich Aurilia
3B- Scott Spiezio
LF- Raul Ibanez
CF- Randy Winn
RF- Ichiro

Rotation: Moyer, Pineiro, Meche, Garcia, Franklin. Pen: Hasegawa, Guardado, Sasaki, Soriano, Jarvis, Mateo, some others. No second lefty though. They haven't gotten it done yet, so why get a second lefty now?

Okay, take the parks out of consideration. Which team has more power? The Angels' lineup is stacked. Their rotation is decent. Their bullpen is nuts. Their closer is automatic. The only thing the Mariners have over the Angels is a better starting rotation. And there's no way in hell that starting rotation will be healthy all year like it was last year (another reason why last year's deadline was a golden opportunity blown). I'm prepared for Gil Meche's inevitable stint on the 60-day DL as they put Kevin Jarvis in for spot starting and try to convince us that Raf Soriano and Julio Mateo are more valuable to us in the bullpen. Also, there's no way Anaheim will have the huge rash of injuries they did last year.

We were all hoping as Mariner fans that the rest of the division would suck so that the Mariners could win 88 games or so and sneak into the playoffs for the first time in three years. The Mariners didn't get Miguel Tejada, but he went out of the division to Baltimore, so they don't have to face him 19 times next year. Rafael Palmeiro followed Tejada to Baltimore, which again is good for the Mariners because Raf won't have 19 games to belt the ball at the Safe. But Palmeiro and Tejada leaving may be more than negated by Vlad joining the Angels. I know what the net result here is, and I'm sure it doesn't have the Mariners ending up in first place eight months from now. The Mariners would not only have to face Vlad, they would have to face Vlad WITH THE REST OF THAT LINEUP.

Ladies and gentlemen, the AL West is Anaheim's to lose, with or without Vlad. Especially with him.

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METAL MELTDOWN 

Nothing is official yet.

HOWEVER, according to the New York Daily News, Vladimir Guerrero will be an Anaheim Angel.

The dream died hard and fast last night.

Unwilling to gamble more than three years of guaranteed money on Vladimir Guerrero's once-injured back, the Mets paid for their caution when they learned the slugging free agent was signing a mega-deal with the Anaheim Angels, sources told the Daily News.

The identity of that team had remained something of a mystery until late last night. Like the Mets, the Angels jumped into the Guerrero sweepstakes only a few days ago, when it became clear that one of the best players in baseball was still up for grabs. Indications were that the deal was for five years and a guaranteed $70 million.


SH!T

My god, if Vlad is an Angel, the Mariners are doomed. Flat out doomed.

Might as well start the metal meltdown right now. Folks, if you think that we, as bloggers, are darksiders and have melted down already, WELL...

YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING YET, if Vladimir Guerrero does indeed sign with the Angels.

Don't say I didn't warn you all for the metal meltdown...

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VLAD UPDATE 

I should probably just be watching the Titans/Pats game, but instead, I'm posting about Vlad.

Apparently Vlad's agent Arn Tellem told Mets GM Jim Duquette that Vlad has signed with a team. That team is not the Mets. Unfortunately, Tellem didn't say which team that was. Duquette apparently also mentioned that no team would be able to get insurance on Vlad's back, hence the only three yearrs of the Mets' offer being guaranteed. Duquette as well as the rest of the management for the Mets deftly remembers getting burned with Mo Vaughn, so they weren't about to guarantee five years to Vlad.

The mystery team better not be Detroit.

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WATCH OUT, BOOG 

Boog Powell and patrons of Boog's Barbecue Pit will have to keep their eyes on the game a little more often...

Raffie Palmeiro is back in an Oriole uniform. This also means that since he's in the AL East instead of the West, he'll be playing for another fourth-place team but will not face the Mariners 19 times next year. At least that's a good thing for us Mariner fans, short of picking him up, of course.

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I HATE THE RAMS 

It's not officically over yet, but they just got into field goal range.

They don't deserve to win this game.

AND BULGER JUST GOT PICKED!!!!

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WANTED: VLAD 

Looks like Vlad Guerrero has some options on the table...

5 yrs, $67.5M from Baltimore. In a somewhat weird twist, in this article an ESPN.com message board is cited...

Though one Mets official called it "a hoax," the reported contract terms were detailed elaborately on an ESPN.com message board Friday night.

To reach the full $72 million from the Mets, Guerrero would need 1,200 plate appearances over the first three seasons, and 500 more in both 2007 and 2008.


5 yrs, $72M if healthy; $30M over three years guaranteed from the Mets. This is a Newsday article, so it's probably a load of hogwash, but take it for what it's worth. Jon Heyman basically says the Mets and Jim Duquette are on the verge of pulling off highway robbery.

And the latest addition to all of this...
1 yr, $10M from the Marlins. A GM is quoted as saying Vlad wouldn't hesitate to go to Florida if they bumped it up to $13M or $14M. Supposedly, they're his first choice. If I was a Marlin fan and my team lost Ivan Rodriguez but got Vlad Guerrero, I'd be pretty jazzed. Then I'd realize that Armando Benitez was my closer and then I'd vomit everywhere.

Not that saving the Ibanez and Spiezio money (and some of the Ichiro money) and throwing it at Guerrero would have made any sense anyway...perish the thought. That's now how Bill Bavasi thinks.

Clubhouse chemistry is overrated. Tools are overrated.

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FOX AND SIMMONS 

Okay, i'm gonna complain about the Fox NFL coverage today. Why? Originally, the new graphics this season sort of scared me, namely the score constant graphic. It really did the job: team logos, scores, down and yardage, network ID, and the occasional added out-of-town score graphic.

Today, they've removed the team logos from next to the scores and replaced them with "CAR" and "STL." I heard my dad say over the break "what good are the logos? You don't know who the teams are." Sorry, Dad, if you're watching the game and can't match the logo with who's on the field and know who the teams are within 30 seconds, you probably shouldn't be watching the game anyway. The three-letter abbreviations have taken the individuality out of the Fox score graphic.

To the second topic of the post...it has to do with Bill Simmons. Last Sunday, Jeremy used this post to label the Seahawks loss to Green Bay as a Level II: Stomach Punch loss according to the criteria laid out in Bill Simmons' 13 Levels of Losing column.

In Simmons' latest column, he also labels the Seahawks loss as a Stomach Punch loss. Good job, Jeremy. Here's a tidbit from the article...

You have to feel for [Seahawk fans]. Even as Vanilli was running down the sidelines with that game-winning overtime TD, I was thinking of my poor friend KJ, a die-hard Seattle fan and author of the upcoming book, "If We Killed Jim McIllvane, Would That Get Him off The Cap?" Imagine rooting for the Seahawks for the past 20 years? Has there been a more nondescript franchise in any sport?

Simmons is great as usual. Fox, however...I hate their baseball coverage, their football coverage is their standby even though they messed with the graphics today, they blew it with hockey and the glowing puck, and they can't get me to watch NASCAR, as much as I do appreciate NASCAR.

And yes, we finally got back above freezing in Ellensburg yesterday.

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THE I DON'T GIVE A CRAP ANYMORE 2ND RD PICKS 

Since the Seahawks are no longer playing, I don't have a rooting interest in the NFL Playoffs now.

But since there are 3 of you who actually care about my NFL playoff picks, here we go...

Carolina over St. Louis
The Panthers have a pass rush. That pass rush will give Marc Bulger fits. And the Panthers will run Stephen Davis left, right, up the middle...anywhere so the Rams offense stays off the field. If the Panthers can give Davis the ball 25-30 carries, they will win. And let's be honest, Mike Martz can't win shiznit.

New England over Tennessee
It's going to be cold as hell in Foxboro tonight. I like the Titans guts, but I can't bet against the Patriots in Foxboro. Can't do it.

Indianapolis over Kansas City
Peyton Manning will win his 2nd playoff game. Get off the hick's back. The Chiefs are soft as hell, and the Ghost of Lin Elliott is already enough for them to lose this game.

Philadelphia over Green Bay
The Brett Favre asskissing show has to stop sometime. It has to stop tomorrow evening in Philadelphia. And besides, the Eagles are the better team. Something tells me that they're on a mission...

There you have it. Panthers-Eagles NFC Title Game, and Colts-Patriots AFC Title Game.

Believe it.

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LOOK FASTBALL 

Here's a little question: is it possible to have a rotation where the top four guys are Jason Schmidt, Kirk Rueter, Jerome Williams, and Brett Tomko, and win the NL West, let alone win 90 games at all? That's what the Giants are going to find out.

Though the posted article did say "[Tomko] was 8-3 with a 4.57 ERA after the All-Star break and second on the Cardinals in victories, starts (32) and innings (202 2/3), trailing only All-Star Woody Williams in each category," I'd still be a little weary about giving him the ball. His season totals were 13-9 with an ERA of 5.28. Just think about how bad it was before the break.

The Giants gave him a one-year, $1.2M deal (plus $250k in performance bonuses) with a club option for a second at $2.5M or a $300k buyout. The Mariners probably would have given him $4M and frankly, I don't see why they didn't. He's a former Mariner, don't they want all the former Mariners? Oh, wait; he was sort of a primadonna headcase type.

Luckily for the Giants the rest of their division is crap.

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BUY TICKETS TO NOT EVER SEE THE LITTLE UNIT 

Spring Training tickets for the Mariners in Peoria, AZ go on sale next Saturday. In a related story, I am piling up student loans, have no job, and had to pay the rent yesterday. Jolly good times, this whole college thing is.

Also in the article is the end of the road for much-ballyhooed prospect Ryan Anderson. But let's face it, even if he made it big for the Mariners, he would have been gone within two years. Why? When he came out of high school he refused to play for any teams other than the hometown Detroit Tigers and the Seattle Mariners who his idol, Randy Johnson, played for. Ironically, he didn't ask out of the system when Johnson left the Mariners. Even still, the whole refusal-to-play-for-any-other-team-when-draft-eligible thing reeks under the Howard Lincoln anti-primadonna (excluding himself, of course) doctrine. I'm sure Howie would have wanted none of that, but I'm surprised he didn't ship Ryan off. Then again, he was a young arm, and young arms are probably exempt from this whole primadonna thing. Of course, if they would have traded Ryan early on, they would have gotten something for him, but he probably would have whooped up for any other team that happened to have a competent medical staff (thanks, Steve). But this is it for Ryan Anderson and the Seattle Mariners. No more hopes of pictures of his oddly-shaped and weirdly-configured head in the Mariner prospect guides.

And the watch is on to make Ryan Christianson the next high Mariner draft pick that gets cut loose because he got injured too much. Ken Cloude and Ryan Anderson have already bit it this offseason. Stay tuned!!

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CANUCKS 5, MIGHTY DUCKS 2 

Lost in the shuffle of Phoenix Coyote goalie Brian Boucher's NHL-record fifth straight shutout was the Canucks completing their first LA/Anaheim road sweep in twelve tries. Their hot road streak also extended to 10-1-1 in their last 12 road games, as well as seven road wins in a row.

The radio broadcast seemed a little different tonight. Since CKNW's feed was down on their site, I had to resort to hearing the game through NHL.com. The difference usually is that CKNW comes in crystal-clear over their website, whereas over NHL.com, the radio feed sounds like you're getting it through a telephone. So originally I thought it sounded different because of that. It wasn't just that. The announcer sounded weird. Later I learned it was Dan Russell, who usually hosts the Canuck postgame shows. Regular play-by-play man John Shorthouse was back in Vancouver awaiting the birth of his child.

The Canucks did not get a single power play tonight, so that means they couldn't go 0-fer on the power play if they didn't get any in the first place. The Canucks piled up a huge 4-0 lead in the second period. However, Dan Cloutier faced an insane amount of shots. The Ducks doubled up the Canucks in shots by a margin of 46-23. Cloutier stopped 44 shots.

Henrik Sedin gave away the puck in his own zone, leading to the Todd Simpson goal 1:09 into the second period to spoil Dan Cloutier's shutout. Petr Sykora scored the second Anaheim goal later in the period, but he's good, so we'll let that slide.

Goals tonight for Vancouver: Jarkko Ruutu (4th), Mike Keane (5th), Henrik Sedin (4th), Markus Naslund 2 (21st and 22nd)

Jason King got an assist point on the Ruutu goal, which is good, because the rookie has had it real rough since his hot start. King had gone without a point in 13 games; his last point was an assist against Ottawa on 27 Nov. His last goal was a game earlier against Montreal on 25 Nov. Even still, the rookie still has a modest 11 goals. He's been struggling and has been a healthy scratch on a few occasions in the past few weeks. In yesterday's game, he was scratched and Magnus Arvedson was put into King's spot, breaking up the Mattress Line but making an all-Swedish line with the Sedins. Arvedson scored two goals.

Lastly, since Ryan Kesler is listed by CBC's depth chart as being in the minors, the Canucks once again have zero players on their roster who were born in the United States. The Canucks roster is comprised of thirteen Canadians, seven Swedes, two Finns, two Czechs, and one Russian.

The Florida Panthers visit the Garage on Sunday night.

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Friday, January 09, 2004

THAT'S CRAP 

That's too bad that the Mariners Caravan/Winter Tour isn't making a stop in Kitsap County this year.

I mean, we may not care for it, but the little kids do. I thought the Mariners are a "family-friendly" organization? Then again, with the cutbacks on the ferry schedule up there, it's not like Kitsap County families will go to as many M's games as they have in the past anyway. And believe me, not having a caravan stop in Kitsap County will cause some people to rethink whether they will go to a game at Safeco Field in 2004.

I went to the Mariners web site earlier today and there wasn't a schedule for this little Winter Tour that they are having. You would think they would at least try to promote it. I don't think too many people would be enthused with J.J Putz, but that's just me. However, he's better than Butch Huskey, and I saw him at the 1999 caravan show at Klahowya.

Dan Wilson always makes an appearance on this caravan/winter tour. Hell, the three times I attended the caravan show, Wilson was always there. But the kids liked him, and hell, if you take away the fact that he's not a good ballplayer, I like him too. He's a nice guy...no seriously, he is. I always used to give a few of my friends back in high school crap for loving Dan Wilson (they shall remain nameless, but they are female).

Anyways, big props to the 2nd best Bremerton Sun writer Nathan Joyce. He's usually on the money. Even down here in Arkansas, I read the Bremerton Sun everyday online.

Have a good weekend, and stay warm.

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NUGGET 

Usually when I peruse the online version of my hometown rag, the Bremerton Sun, I usually don't get anything that good.

Yesterday, editor Nathan Joyce tried to provide a little insight as to why the annual Mariners offseason caravan isn't making a stop in Bremerton. I'll include some tidbits from the article...

[Jeff] Cirillo, during a question-and-answer segment [at last year's Caravan stop at Bremerton High School], was asked about the departure of Lou Piniella. The locally beloved manager had recently relocated to Tampa Bay to manage the Devil Rays.

Cirillo mentioned how much Piniella had meant to baseball in Seattle before announcing to a somewhat shocked crowd: "Personally, for me, I'm glad he's gone."

I was pretty shocked. I couldn't imagine anybody saying anything but nice things to the Mariners' fan base about the former manager.

But afterward, after Cirillo had frowned and grumped his way through a few hundred autographs, it got even better.

Cirillo was open about how he and Piniella didn't get along, how he had wilted under the considerable pressure Sweet Lou applied. He admitted he was miserable that first season in Seattle.

He told me a bizarre story about how he would picture Piniella naked so he wouldn't be intimidated.

So I wrote a little story on Cirillo for the next day's paper. I was happy to get a little scoop; nobody had written much about about Cirillo's problems with Piniella.

And then the story blew up. Papers across the state, around the country even, picked it up. Every time I turned on sports radio, they were talking about it.

Cirillo went out of his way to point out what a bad reporter he thought I was. He called me "shoddy" in The Seattle Times and on the radio.
[...]
His big beef? He claimed to have said lots of nice things about Piniella that day and they didn't make the paper. But on further review -- I still have the tape of the interview -- that was a load of crap.

For the record, Cirillo said two nice things about Piniella, one of which did make the paper. I certainly didn't include every negative thing he said, either.


It is also noted in the article that Safeco took their name off the winter caravan, which is now called the Seattle Mariners Winter Tour.

I knew previously that Cirillo had said those things while in B-town, but I didn't remember the backlash that it caused. And I didn't know Nathan Joyce was involved.

Lastly, big ups to Nathan Joyce for using the phrase "load of crap" in the Bremerton Sun. I didn't think anyone could get away with that.

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THE LAST DOMINO FALLS 

I'm somewhat surprised of this because she had just signed an extension not long ago, but Barbara Hedges has "retired" as athletic director at the University of Washington. It will be very interesting to see what happens to this Husky athletic program. Either way, we can listen to KJR to hear the mayhem unfold.

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I AM NOT A CROOK 

Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you the reemergence of Otis Nixon, a great basestealer in his time, though his face always had that weird (and possibly drug-induced) disheveled look to it.

No, he's not back in baseball or anything. But he did pull a knife on his bodyguard, which raises an interesting question...does he really need a bodyguard? Are people really beating a path to Otis Nixon's door these days? If that's the case, I can't imagine why.

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BAVASI RENDERS ME SPEECHLESS 

So the blogosphere (as well as Larry LaRue) has pretty much ruled that Jose Santiago hasn't been able to hit in the Majors.

This brings up an interesting question (cue up today's Hickey article): why bring Jose Santiago aboard? Let's let Bill Bavasi answer this question...

"The tandem there allows us to move Carlos to a club and it creates a situation where we have a shortstop (Aurilia) and a backup (Santiago), and it brings more players into the system for inventory."

Read that last part again. Inventory. Of course, the "inventory"-filling player in this case is crap. I was pissed when I saw that, but I thought again and realized I'd be even more pissed if he used the word "inventory" to justify Kevin Jarvis or bringing in a bunch of crappy no-talent arms.

But something seems wrong about it still. I can't remember the last time "inventory" was used as a reason to pick someone up. The way Bavasi used the word pretty much implies that he didn't care who the hell he was picking up, as long as he got somebody.

I might he hair-brained in this whole post, but the word "inventory" perked my ears and just didn't strike a Bavasi-friendly chord with me.

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Thursday, January 08, 2004

CANUCKS 3, KINGS 1 

The Canucks' eighth game in 14 nights saw an offensive explosion from Magnus Arvedson, who scored two goals tonight (the first one was credited to him when King defenseman Lubomir Visnovsky accidentally put one into his own net) to double his season total to 4. The Canucks' other goal was scored by Henrik Sedin, his 5th. Dan Cloutier stopped 16 of 17 shots. The Canucks outshot the Kings 15-3 in the third period.

The Canucks, even with the win, have only a three-point lead over Colorado and a six-point lead over Calgary in the Northwest Division. The Canucks are 9-1-1 in their last 11 road games, though they haven't won a game in regulation at home since the 8th of November and haven't won at home altogether since December 14th.

There was some subtext going into the game. I should have brought this up when I read it last month, but in the 22 Dec John Buccigross column at ESPN.com, King forward Sean Avery said a few things...

[Buccigross:] If you could have one free punch at any NHL player, who would it be?
Avery: Matt Cooke.
[...]
I think that anyone that plays this style of game realizes at some point you HAVE TO FIGHT, whether you win the fight or get your lunch fed to you. It's about a respect thing with your teammates. Guys have been saying that forever about Matt Cooke. I'm not sure if he's ever fought in the NHL. It's not whether you win or lose the fight, it's just that you show up.
[...]
[Buccigross:] What kind of smack talk goes on in the NHL?
Avery: It depends on who you are playing. For me it always seems to be Vancouver. Markus Naslund and Todd Bertuzzi are pretty good players, but they also have a pretty big chip on their shoulders. Naslund surprisingly talks a lot. His was a reference to money, saying how much he makes. It was like we were back in junior talking how big our signing bonus is. Bertuzzi has a short fuse and it's easy to get him off his game. The smallest thing will set him off.


There was no fighting tonight between Avery and Matt Cooke, but Avery did mix it up twice with Todd Bertuzzi and he high-stuck Bertuzzi on another occasion.

Todd Bertuzzi finished 448 votes short of Colorado defenseman Rob Blake for second in the Western Conference All-Star voting. Your Western Conference starting lineup has Bertuzzi, Bill Guerin, and Mike Modano on the front line, with Rob Blake and Nicklas Lidstrom on the blueline and Marty Turco in net. Who the hell kept voting for all those damn Dallas players? That team is crap this year, come on. Sheesh.

The Canucks play in Anaheim Friday night.

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OFFICIAL...BIG SHOCKER 

There won't be too many dry eyes in the Mariner blognation during the 2004 season, mainly because of this trainwreck of an offseason.

It has gotten worse.

Say hello to Rich Aurilia, and wave bye-bye to Carlos Guillen.

The Seattle Mariners agreed to terms with free agent shortstop Rich Aurilia Thursday, then traded Carlos Guillen to the Detroit Tigers for Ramon Santiago and minor league shortstop Juan Gonzalez.

Aurilia's contract is believed to be a one-year deal worth $3.5 million.


Yeah, too bad that this Juan Gonzalez is fricking horrible. The Mariners have pulled this crap before. Mike Maddux, the suckass brother of Greg, was once a Mariner.

I've bashed Guillen plenty of times over his tenure in Seattle. But come on, he's better than this. He's not some player you just throw away for nothing. Ramon Santiago and the fake Juan Gonzalez are nothing.

The 2004 Mariners bench is so bad, Paul Molitor will be the best hitter on the bench.

And he's retired. Hey Paul, I would love for you to come back and hit .280 for the M's, but I don't want to see you suffer with this trainwreck of a roster.

Non-pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training February 24. That's my birthday. Please Edgar, give me a great birthday present and retire. You don't deserve this bullcrap.

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SOME GOOD HUMOR 

Well, obviously, there's no humor in the fact that the Mariners will have Rich Aurilia in the fold Thursday and Carlos Guillen will be a Detroit Tiger for absolutely nothing...

But tonight, there is some good humor:

Top Ten Things I'd Like To Get Off My Chest Now That I'm in the Baseball Hall of Fame
(As presented by Paul Molitor and Dennis Eckersley)


10. "Once after I hit a grand slam I kissed the umpire on the mouth" Molitor

9. "In case there's any confusion, when I die, please don't freeze me" Eckersley

8. "On July 17, 1984, I told the manager I pulled a hamstring and I went to see 'Ghostbusters'" Molitor

7. "Thank God I was never a Devil Ray" Eckersley

6. "I joined a gym so I can continue to shower with men" Molitor

5. "Forget all that stuff during contract negotiations -- I was seriously, seriously overpaid" Eckersley

4. "I traded my 1993 World Series ring for two front row tickets to a Jethro Tull concert" Molitor

3. "Once a guy made a joke about the mustache so I beat him to death with a Fungo Bat" Eckersley

2. "During difficult times in my life I rebroadcast or retransmited games without the express written consent of Major League Baseball" Molitor

1. "Earlier today, I married Britney Spears" Eckersley and Molitor

Two great men, two great baseball players...

They are now two great Hall of Famers.

God bless them. And god bless all the Mariner fans today, because well, this team has just gotten worse. Unfrickingreal.

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Wednesday, January 07, 2004

STREAMLINED 

For the first time on this blog, I actually pressed the "republish entire site" button, so this brings up some things...

-- the template that is on the front page is now extended throughout the archive pages too. No more icky old templates that I have to be ashamed of when I got back and look at them

-- ALL THE PERMALINKS NOW WORK. This was as opposed to when I messed around with the templates a few months ago too much and the permalinks didn't work. It ticked me off for the longest time. When he referred to the non-permalinked stuff, we had to copy and paste it. Now we don't.

-- The titles for the older posts are black and don't show up over the navy blue background. I'll take care of that soon.

No more old gross templates. It may not mean much to you, but it means a lot to me. Makes it a lot easier.

Not bad for a day when classes IN ELLENSBURG get cancelled. That has NEVER happened when I've been here, and this is my fourth year here.

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TWO-MONTH BINGE 

Today is the 7th of January. On the 8th of November, the Mariners hired Bill Bavasi as their general manager. Almost two months have passed. Let's see the players he's signed or traded:

20 Nov -- Raul Ibanez signed
8 Dec -- Shigetoshi Hasegawa re-signed
10 Dec -- Eddie Guardado signed
12 Dec -- Randy Winn and Ryan Franklin re-signed
15 Dec -- Carlos Guillen re-signed
16 Dec -- Greg Colbrunn for Quinton McCracken
19 Dec -- Ichiro's contract extended
21 Dec -- Freddy Garcia signed to avoid arbitration
6 Jan -- Jeff Cirillo, Brian Sweeney, and cash for Kevin Jarvis, Wiki Gonzalez, Dave Hansen, and Vince Faison
Near future -- Rich Aurilia to be signed
not listed in ESPN.com's Mariner transaction page for some reason -- Scott Spiezio signed

It just occurred to me that I probably have missed some moves because if the Spiezio move isn't on ESPN's list, then other stuff is probably missing too. But the core of it is here...

Here's the moves with some opinion attached:
-- Raul Ibanez signing: INDEFENSIBLE. Grossly overpaid for a guy whose stats will sink like a rock at the Safe next year, and whose defense is less than stellar. Another guy who would have been nice to overpay and has less than stellar defense: Miguel Tejada. Tejada got 6 years and $72M from Baltimore. Jeremy would have given him 4 years and $50M. Avg Baltimore pay: $12M/yr. Avg Jeremy pay: $12.5M/yr. In this context, Jeremy's offer seems reasonable. But if Tejada was just after years, then it's moot. Truth be told, the Mariners' offer was blown out of the water, and I don't think it's the best offer they could have put out on the table.

-- Shigetoshi Hasegawa re-signed: semi-defensible. He pitched out of his mind last year, but in all likelihood should be solid. Though there are tons of minor-league arms chomping at the bit to have this role, we can agree that there is at least a rational explanation as to why they made this move.

-- Eddie Guardado signed: defensible. Again, the role could have easily gone to a cheaper minor-leaguer, but no one can argue with Guardado's track record. Everyone can argue with Ibanez' track record and his park-inflated hitting stats.

-- Randy Winn and Ryan Franklin re-signed: both of these moves are defensible in some way. Franklin pitched some quality innings last year and got no run support, but proved that he could handle a Major League workload of innings. Detractors point out it was probably his peak year and with Cameron gone he will suffer. I don't like the Winn signing, but one can say it's defensible, I guess, considering Cameron ended up fleeing the coop. That said, I would have found some way to get rid of Winn and assuming I didn't overpay or sign Ibanez at all, I would have gotten Jose Cruz Jr. Then Ichiro would have been in CF. Blablabla, I've said it before. At the time of the Winn signing, it was somewhat understood that there was a possibility that the Mariners were going to trade him.

-- Carlos Guillen re-signed: after Tejada was out of the mix and the Mariners brass realized Rey Sanchez was a Scott Boras client, this seemed somewhat logical. The contract was fairly cheap, and Carlos can hit fairly well. Defensible move, given that Tejada was gone.

-- Greg Colbrunn for Quinton McCracken: NOT EVEN REMOTELY DEFENSIBLE. Trading away the only potent bat off the bench for an absolute hack is brutally indefensible. Taking on money in the deal is EVEN MORE INDEFENSIBLE.

-- Ichiro's contract extended: defensible. At the time leading up to it, I wanted the Mariners to let Ichiro take a hike if he wanted more than $10M/yr. He didn't blow that figure out of the water, so the deal isn't too brutal. Though when I wanted the Mariners to have Ichiro hike if he took more than $10M/yr, I wanted the Mariners to throw the money at Vladimir Guerrero, who of course provides more bang for the buck, though the Mariners would probably take it in the pants in the "Japanese tourist and businessmen at the gate" department.

-- Freddy Garcia re-signed to avoid arbitration: defensible. There may be a glimmer of hope in Freddy Garcia, and the guy doesn't out-and-out suck. He had value. The Mariners weren't going to let him walk for nothing.

-- Cirillo, Sweeney, and cash for Jarvis, Gonzalez, Hansen, and Faison: INDEFENSIBLE. There's hugely worthy minor-leaguers who would give their right eyes to have the roster spots that are going to be clogged up by what the Mariners are getting back in this trade. Getting nothing back would have been better than this. Hansen is the only thing coming back in this trade that has remote value, but it's not enough to justify the trade taking place

-- Aurilia to sign: a guy with one decent year who hit behind Barry Bonds. A guy over 30. A guy declining in his career. A guy who will be more expensive than a serviceable Carlos Guillen. INDEFENSIBLE.

-- signing Scott Spiezio: INDEFENSIBLE. They grossly overpaid him and he hasn't played a full season at third base in his life and Bavasi said in his own words that he expects Spiezio to play 150 games and produce as an everyday third baseman. Bill Bavasi is on crack. Justin Leone would also really like to play third, but the Mariners just showed him a big huge middle finger just like the Yankees showed Drew Henson after they picked up Aaron Boone.

What I didn't include for the most part were the moves that Bavasi didn't make, which probably will be part of a vitriolic post to come in the near future. Basically all the moves that Bavasi has made that involve players from other teams (sans the Guardado signing) have all been utterly indefensible and crappy moves.

The sad thing is, two of the Mariners' best and most sensible moves of the offseason happened before the Bavasi hire: Edgar re-signing for another year (I'd walk the day before the Mariners headed north from spring training if I were him and I would laugh and bow down to him if he did) and John Mabry getting bought out of his contract.

I have yet to determine with detail the amount to which Bill Bavasi has wrecked the Mariner franchise. Has he wrecked what the Mariners have had going for them since 2001? 2000? Wrecked everything that has gone right since Safeco Field was built? Wrecked everything since 1995? I'll probably get into this sometime before spring training.

The truth is, the only two moves this offseason where I've said "oh, thank God" afterward have been the Guardado signing and the Mabry buyout.

Life isn't fair.

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THIS IS WHY WE LOVE LARRY STONE 

Cirillo dealt, but you all knew that

The Mariners get an attitudinally challenged catcher, Wiki Gonzalez, they don't particularly need, and a 34-year-old pitcher, Kevin Jarvis, who has the unfortunate trait of not being able to get anybody out. They get a utility man/pinch-hitter, Dave Hansen, who could turn out to be the most useful acquisition, and a minor-leaguer, outfielder Vince Faison, who, in the best of all possible worlds, will become a major-leaguer.

...a 34-year-old pitcher, Kevin Jarvis, who has the unfortunate trait of not being able to get anybody out.

Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Mr. Larry Stone. He'll be here Tuesdays and Thursdays at the midnight hour, because he's just so damn good. All praise the only good Seattle Times sports columnist, Mr. Larry Stone!!!

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Tuesday, January 06, 2004

ROIDING RAINBOW 

(sing it...)

I...can do anything!
These pills I take
Can help me rake!
A Roiding Rainbow!!

Okay, so I don't have the financial clout to have the original Reading Rainbow singers or LeVar Burton introduce this, but the opportunity was there...I'll have to think of a second verse to the Roiding Rainbow theme song to account for pitchers taking steroids.

Derrick Turnbow of the Anaheim Angel bullpen has been identified as the first MLB player to test positive for a banned steroid, though it is under the guidelines of the USADA (no acronym given in the following article, US Anti-Doping Agency, perhaps?), which tested him when he tried out for an Olympic qualifying camp.

Here's the LA Times link (registration required), but I'll post some excerpts, but not the whole thing, because I don't feel quite as delinquent as before.

Turnbow, of Spring Hill, Tenn., said in a telephone interview that he had taken an over-the-counter dietary supplement containing "19-nor," as the substance is known in gyms and locker rooms. "I didn't know that what I was taking was going to make me fail a drug test, period," he said.
[...]
The release of Turnbow's name also makes plain a matter lost among the many steroid-related controversies that have plagued baseball over the last few months -- with the disclosure by baseball officials that dozen of big leaguers were caught in random tests last season using steroids.
[...]
Turnbow, throwing as hard as 98 mph, dazzled the Angels after returning in September from the minor leagues. He pitched 13 innings, giving up no runs or walks and striking out 12.

"This guy has potential closer written all over him," Angel Manager Mike Scioscia said in September.

Turnbow finished last season with the big league club and is expected to win a roster spot this spring. Angel General Manager Bill Stoneman, who did not learn of the positive test until Monday, said he was not prepared to discuss what effect, if any, the test might have on Turnbow's chances.
[...]
Under baseball's rules, taking effect this year, a first-time offender's positive test does not become public and he will be placed in a treatment program -- with no suspension. Turnbow, however, was tested in 2003, when there was no such sanction.
[...]
"I keep trying to think about it," Turnbow said.

"What happened is bad publicity. But it had nothing to do with Major League Baseball. I stepped across a line and volunteered for USA Baseball. I failed by their standards. I never would have failed a drug test if I hadn't volunteered for USA Baseball.

"That's what's so hard for me."

Rob Manfred, MLB's executive vice president of labor relations, said officials were aware of the positive test, adding only that Turnbow's case "would be processed in accordance with major league drug policy."

Gene Orza, the players' union's associate general counsel, could not be reached for comment.


We knew the day would come where we'd know someone active in baseball would be identified as testing positive for steroids. Of course, with the steroid policy not fully kicking in until this year, I didn't think we'd hear about it until quite a while after the implementation of the policy -- like the article alludes to, the first positive test by a player doesn't become public under the new policy. But as we all know, the International Olympic Committee has some hard-line strict doping policies, and Derrick Turnbow (unfortunately for him) didn't take that into account. The IOC will rat anybody out if they're roiding (or doping in any way), just ask the husband of multiple-medalist track star and egomaniac Marion Jones.

We're moving into some uncharted territory for baseball with this whole steroid thing. The first thing I compare it to in my mind for some reason in the substance abuse policy the NFL has in place. Recent Seahawks violating the policy included Chris Terry and Shawn Springs. Let's say a ballplayer gets nailed a second time (because the current policy gives them a mulligan in regard to the public test release for the first time) for steroids. With the NFL policy, the players were suspended for around four games (this Google search seems to indicate that four-game suspensions are fairly popular in this realm), which is a quarter of the NFL season. A quarter of the Major League Baseball season is about 40 or 41 games. It gives a little different perspective when I think about it that way. Could you imagine if Barry Bonds got nailed and the Giants had to play without him for 40 games?? The ramifications would be a near-death knell to the Giants' season. In the Mariners' case, imagine Bret Boone being out for 40 games. There goes the power in THAT lineup, not to mention the glove. Imagine Edgar batting 90% of the time with the bases empty.

I hope in the end that this steroid deal ends up getting its kinks worked out and everything. Right now, the whole thing is a cloudy mess, the penalties seem lax, etc. More importantly, I hope that none of the great players that play the game of baseball are nailed. Sure, with the NFL, the substance abuse policy is used so often that people forget after while that Shawn Springs took something he shouldn't have when he was rehabbing from an injury. Since the policy is new, the first few guys that get identified by Major League Baseball as taking steroids are going to catch some heat and are going to get that tarnish on their reputation. Human nature tells me to have second thoughts about Derrick Turnbow's game log in September of last year.

I now pray for the sanity of baseball as we know it...

[Edit ~2:40p; added supplementary Marion Jones husband link]
[Edit 12 Sept 2006; corrected the Turnbow game log link]

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TRIBTAKE 

Larry LaRue has his take on the Cirillo dealings and such.

Basically what I hadn't known before was this...
A multi-year contract with free agent shortstop Rich Aurilia was also near completion Monday - as was a trade that would send infielder Carlos Guillen to the Detroit Tigers.
[...]
If Aurilia signs, the Guillen-to-Detroit trade would return what one Mariner source described as "a solid backup and a position player from their minor league system."

One of those players could be infielder Ramon Santiago, a 24-year-old switch hitter who can play both shortstop and second base. A quick middle infielder with good hands, Santiago hasn't proven he can hit in the majors - batting .225 last season in 141 games.


At least LaRue pointed out that Ramon Santiago can't hit. I have a feeling Finnigan would spin it as "he batted .225, but has the potential to be productive from both sides of the plate."

[Edited 1:16p -- the "Basically..." line was my thought, not that of LaRue]

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THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND 

Before I hit the sack here, I have to spew my venom here...

MARVIN FRICKING BENARD??????????????????

...and in the outfield, ex-Giant Marvin Benard, who lives in Richland, has confirmed that the Mariners are one of three teams to have contacted his agent, the other two being the Yankees and the Red Sox.

The Mariners admit that the two sides have talked, but for the moment, at least, Benard will have to be willing to come in as a non-roster player because the Mariners have no room on the 40-man roster.

Benard, a career .250 hitter who is coming off his worst pro season (.197 in an injury laden season for the Giants), said the Mariners have an inside track because of his living in the Northwest.

For the moment, however, Benard is concentrating on making sure he's 100 percent healthy. He is in the Dominican Republic playing winter ball without pain.


ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

All because the guy lives in RICHLAND during the offseason??? He did play baseball at Lewis-Clark State in Lewiston, Idaho, so that may have something to do with his Richland residence. But this is out of line...way out of line.

Even though the guy is injury prone, that simply doesn't matter to the Mariners. Just look at the guy's off the field resume. Face it guys, we have a roster full of Salvation Army bellringers.

But hey, they may very well win 90 games again.

Been there, done that. We are, we are...the pissed off Mariner nation, we are, we are.

Pissed off Mariner nation.

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SUPERSONICS 119, TRAILBLAZERS 108 (OT) 

I'm using this here Sonic win tonight to overshadow the following bad things that have happened in northwest sports over the last few days...

-- the Seahawks playoff loss on the first OT playoff game ever decided on a defensive touchdown

-- the Sonics' brutal 130-99 loss -- to a Sacramento team on the tail end of a back-to-back -- the night before (which I so conveniently ignored so as to keep the wet blanket off of the Seahawk optimism of next year for a bit)

-- the Canucks' loss tonight against the Sharks

-- more importantly, this horrible Cirillo trade that Bavasi is pulling the trigger on (here's Jeremy's preliminary take on the deal). Seriously, what roles are Kevin Jarvis, Wiki Gonzalez, and Dave Hansen going to fill on the Mariners' roster? The only semi-rational explanation for any of these guys I can come up with is if the Mariners are getting Hansen to reprise his past role (in other words, he's washed up now) of "decent pinch-hitter." Other than that, I'm not seeing anything other than three guys who will do for the Mariners what Luis Ugueto did for Lou Piniella and the 2002 Mariners: be dead weight.

To the Sonics. It looks like now there's a reason why the Blazers are now 1-12 on the road this year. The Blazers managed to blow a 23-point lead. The Blazers led 87-69 after three quarters of play. Then something happened: Ray Allen scored 20 points in the 4th quarter.

It's too bad Zach Randolph is stuck on that Blazer team with the zoo around him, because he's a hell of a player. His line tonight was 28 points, 12 boards, and 5 assists. Ray Allen made up for his crappy night against Sacramento. He had 42 points, 6 rebounds, and 8 assists. Vlad Radmanovic had 21 points and hopefully he's finding his shot again because his defense is crap. There's a chance that non-defense may have had something to do with Damon Stoudamire scoring 22 points. Come on, guys. Damon was probably toasted through that entire game.

I'm waiting for another story to come from tonight. After one of these Portland/Seattle games a mere 14 months ago, we had the Damon-and-Rasheed-in-the-car-speeding-down-I5-with-pot-in-the-car incident. Let's see if the new Blazer code of conduct can withstand car trips by Damon Stoudamire and Rasheed Wallace down Interstate 5.

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SHARKS 2, CANUCKS 1 

Before getting to the game, two members of the Vancouver press have given out their midseason Canuck MVP honors. Steve Ewen of the Vancouver Province votes for Mattias Ohlund while his colleague Gordon McIntyre votes for the more obvious (though easy) choice of Markus Naslund.

The Canucks have been doing fairly well lately, though the home play is a far cry from the unbeaten-at-home streak that began the season. Tonight, the Canucks ran into a fairly hot team of Sharks. The Sharks are now 7-1-1 in their last nine games.

All of the goal scoring in this game occurred in the third period. Judging from the shot totals, the first period was probably like watching paint dry. The second period was frustrating for Canuck fans everywhere, as the Canucks outshot the Sharks 14-4 and couldn't convert on four power plays. The first goal of the game was scored by Henrik Sedin (3rd of season) at the 7:14 mark of the third period. Of course, sometimes Dan Cloutier doesn't like to hold a lead for too long, so he waited only 92 seconds before letting a Scott Thornton shot through.

The winning goal, though, was scored after a Trevor Linden turnover at his own blue line. Pat Marleau scored the winning goal (his 18th goal of the season) with 38.6 seconds left, effectively screwing the Canucks out of at least one point in the standings.

Even with regular goalie Evgeni Nabokov out while attending a funeral, the Canucks couldn't solve Nabokov's backup Vesa Toskala. He fended off the Canuck power plays in the second period, and ended up with 37 saves.

Not good for the Canucks, but I have to tip the hat to Pat Marleau, a former Seattle Thunderbird and one of the awesomest Seattle Thunderbird players in their franchise's history. That guy tore up the WHL the year before he got to the NHL.

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Monday, January 05, 2004

CAN'T SPEAK 

Danzig "Can't Speak"

can't speak
can't talk
can't stop for the reeling cause
or love
i told'em all about it
can't talk
cause I'm already lost


3B Jeff Cirillo, RHP Brian Sweeney and cash to the Padres for C Wiki Gonzalez, RHP Kevin Jarvis, IF Dave Hansen, and a minor leaguer. The deal is awaiting approval from the commissioner's office since more than $1 million is being sent from Seattle to San Diego.

Glenn Danzig has tried to help me explain my thoughts on this deal. I'm vexed.

Ladies and gentlemen, your Seattle Mariners simply don't give a sh@! about winning.

Thanks a lot Al Harris. If it weren't for your sorry dreadlocked ass, I wouldn't even care too much about Kevin friggin Jarvis being a Mariner this week. But NOOOOOOOOO, you just had to intercept that pass from Matt Hasselbeck, making Seattle sports fans sad one more time.

Oh well I guess, it's only just begun for the Seattle sports fans in 2004. Good god.

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HORRIBLY BEHIND 

Yeah, I pretty much skipped most of the break concerning B-town high school sports, but Saturday yielded some results.

In wrestling, Knights Buddy Bennett (145) and Danny Smith (152) placed second at the Rainshadow Invitational Tournament in Sequim.

In basketball, Knight and future UNC player Marvin Williams had an absolutely sick line of 29 points, 20 rebounds, 6 blocks, and 5 assists in the Knights' 85-58 victory at North Kitsap. Phil Houston (15), Robert Ramsey (12), and Armand Boddie (10) provided sufficient non-Marvin scoring in the Knights' victory. B-town will be at Olympic on Wednesday.

The Knight boys' basketball team went to Fort Myers, FL for the City of Palms classic and finished 1-2. This page covers their first game. This article was from after their second game. In their third game, Marvin Williams caught fire for a career high 37 points along with 12 rebounds.

This link shows results from the 18th of Dec, where the B-town wrestling team was smoked against South, but they did send a few of their wrestlers to Coeur d'Alene for the Tri-State Tournament at North Idaho College. Some B-town swimming results are also posted. This link (toward bottom of that page) shows B-town wrestling results from the Lynnwood Classic, even when some of the team was at the Tri-State Tournament. Daniel Sawyers took a title at 125 lb. Finally, here's the link for the Tri-State Tournament results. The Knights placed 30th (probably through a handful of guys and not a full team), but were ahead of Central Kitsap, who placed 31st.

There's most of what happened to B-town high school sports over the holidays, therefore fullfilling requirements in order to have the word "Bremertonians" on the page. It's not just a warning that we're wacky here at Spizzles and Bizzles (like that?), it's because we can have an ear toward the high school sports circuit that is strong in Kitsap County thanks to our backwardness and isolation from Seattle and the rest of the modern world.

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NOT QUITE A MIRACLE ON ICE 

The United States defeated the Canadians with three unanswered goals in the third period to take the gold medal at the world junior hockey championship in Helsinki, Finland.

One of the US goals came after Canadian/Pittsburgh Penguin goalie Marc-Andre Fleury was trying to clear the puck by his own net, but the puck went off his own defenseman and into his own net.

Two of the US goals were scored by Dan Fristche of the Columbus Blue Jackets and Ryan Kesler of the Vancouver Canucks.

The Canadians come away with their third straight medal. The US team comes away with some big confidence and hopefully some clout toward the long-overdue proliferation of hockey in the United States. These kids are alright, more so than a certain 1998 US hockey team that went to Nagano, sucked, then trashed the hotel. Classy.

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Sunday, January 04, 2004

WHAT A FRICKED UP DAY 

I hate Al Harris.

Anyways, the Seahawks 33-27 OT loss to the Packers was just painful. It will be painful for a while, believe me. Out of all the ways to lose a football game, a defensive touchdown is the worst possible way.

If Brett Favre had beaten the Seahawks with a game winning touchdown, fine. He beats every other team that way, so I wouldn't feel so ashamed if that happened to the Seahawks.

If Ryan Longwell kicked a game winning field goal, that wouldn't be bad either.

But it was AL HARRIS who won this game for the Green Bay Packers. Al Harris, the no-talent assclown with stupid ass dreads from Texas A&M-Kingsville, ended the 2003 Seattle Seahawks season. If I knew the Seahawks were going to lose in OT that way, couldn't it have been somebody who is talented, like, say, Nick Barnett?

But no. Things never go my way as a Seattle sports fan. Why should things go my way now?

For more on this, I turn to the great Bill Simmons' 13 Levels of Losing.

Level II: The Stomach Punch
Definition: Now we've moved into rarefied territory, any roller-coaster game that ends with A) an opponent making a pivotal (sometimes improbable) play, or B) one of your guys failing in the clutch ... usually ends with fans filing out after the game in stunned disbelief, if they can even move at all ... always haunting, sometimes scarring ... there are degrees to the Stomach Punch Game, depending on the situation ... for instance, Sunday's Kings-Lakers game and Monday's Celts-Nets game featured agonizing endings, but they weren't nearly as agonizing as Cleveland's Earnest Byner fumbling against Denver when he was about two yards and 0.2 seconds away from sending the Browns to the Super Bowl).


Yep, "The Stomach Punch".

A) an opponent making a pivotal (sometimes improbable) play

It's 3rd and 11, ball at the Seattle 45.

Matt Hasselbeck audibles at the line of scrimmage. Ball snapped. He goes for Alex Bannister, but the special teams Pro Bowler ran too far on the route, and then comes Al Harris. The dreadlocked assclown runs 52 yards for the game winning touchdown. His fellow assclowns with rats and deer on their heads celebrate with him. Little children and older women in Green Bay go home happy today. While people like me are just pissed.

What made this so frustrating was that the Seahawks came back to tie the game at 27 with 51 seconds left. To me, that game-tying drive in the 4th quarter is the best moment of Hasselbeck's career up to this point. That drive was 7 plays, 67 yards, and 1:44. There were 3 big receptions on that drive, with Koren Robinson, Darrell Jackson, and Bobby Engram making key catches. And then Shaun Alexander runs it in for the TD, one of 3 on the day for the Alabama man.

Sure, there were some key drops in this game. Sure, the defense didn't step up when it really needed to. But right now, I can't help but be proud of this Seahawks team. They won 10 games for the first time since 1986. They went 8-0 at home for the first time in franchise history. Hasselbeck is finally the quarterback that Holmgren expected him to be. Believe me, I don't think any Seattle fans will ever boo the guy again after today.

Even with this loss, I hope the national media and fans took notice of this Seahawks team. This is a good football team. If they can shore up the pass rush and put the fear of god into their receivers to catch the ball, then the Seahawks will be a playoff team again in 2004.

They do have a tough 2004 schedule though:
HOME: Arizona, St. Louis, San Francisco, Atlanta, Carolina, Buffalo, Miami, Dallas
AWAY: Arizona, St. Louis, San Francisco, New Orleans, Tampa Bay, New England, New York Jets, Minnesota.

But the future looks very bright for the Seattle Seahawks. Finally, it's now time. Do I like their chances in 2004?

I sure do.

Will I still hate Al Harris?

Yep. That dreadlocked bastard.

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TIP YOUR HATS TO STEVE 

Steve, with research, has quantified the horribly overrated "good in the clubhouse" factor that the Mariners seem to use with every frigging transaction.

Bow before Steve as he presents to you the Mariners Wheelhouse Character Factor, a completely rational argument for some completely irrational moves.

Great job, Steve. Unfortunately, Steve has given me yet another reason to hate the number 116 for the rest of my life.

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MORE OF EVERYTHING 

People out there may remember that after the Mariners' 2001 season, Lowe's Hardware continued the tradition of Eagle Hardware by issuing highlight tapes of the Mariners' past season. In this case, Lowe's was selling both DVD's and VHS tapes after the 2001 season, called Sweet 116. I never got the DVD, though I did get it for someone else.

So the whole 116 theme was going through my mind after I saw this. She's over 30, so we better not tell Bill Bavasi.

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LEVINE'S LAW ADAPTED 

People out there may remember former Mariner broadcaster Ken Levine, who I think came to the Mariners after Rick Rizzs bolted to call Tiger games (then was so bad they begged Ernie Harwell to come out of retirement).

Levine's Law was this: The leadoff walk always comes around to score unless it doesn't.

Given today's events, I now adapt Levine's Law slightly...

No Seattle team will win a championship until it really happens.

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REMAINING GAME NOTES 

Well, you probably know the result already...

7th Hawk: Jackson SWEEEET moves; Mili on second play; Shaun breaks tackle to get 8yds; Shaun neg yd play (4th in game, 2 no-gains); Koren for first down; Mili is nuts inside the 10; AL HARRIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN FLAGGED on the koren overthrow; Hutch catches ball deflected off Packer D chest; Shaun TD...they really needed this. Just what they wanted to do coming into the second half.

8th Pack: another damn long pass play. nice play by Trufant on the Ahman save. Nice shot by Okeafor, nice breakup by Damien Robinson; NICE STOP BY SEATTLE

8th Hawk: Shaun sweep no yardage; catch by Engram decent; ENGRAM ON THIRD DOWN IS AWESOME; KOREN NICE SAVE on the Hass falldown and fling; Mili nice play to pull pass away from linebacker; Jackson convert on first down; 132-19 pass yds in 2nd half; Mili to the 1; SHAUN PUNCH-IN....YEAAAAAHHH

9th Pack: too bad Hawks didn't stop on 3rd down; play fake and pass to Green (so obvious); some run stacks, but need to stop 3rd/1, they can't; Number Two runs for 8 yds on third down; Green stacked; shovel pass for 7 damn yards; DB Lewis stops Green on third down...good; Pack goes for it on 4th, Godfrey loses Green in the backfield and misses the frigging tackle...would have turned the ball over on downs; Green TD inevitable

9th Hawk: Mili drop (dammit); KOREN BLOWS THE WIDE-OPEN PLAY though it was thrown a little off; pass to Bannister knocked down...CHOKE. NICE TIME for a three-and-out

10th Pack: 3rd/1...need a stop here. IT'S SHORT!!; Sherman goes for it again...Green gets it (SURPRISE) HE FUMBLED BUT THEY CAN'T CHALLENGE IT. I HATE THE REFS. Frigging first down pass; need another stop on 3rd/1...CRAPBOY gets the first down; Green for 9 (where's the run stop?); Green first down;

10th Hawk: two good passes to Engram and Jackson to the 2-min warning; pass tipped; ENGRAM GREAT CATCH to the GB 8; 3rd and goal...FLAGS!!! Pass interference!! SHAUN TD!!! Dammit, they needed this. They really did.

11th Pack: Green dumpoff pass, but it's not a long one; first down pass to Ferguson, timeout called (29 ticks); NICE PASS COVERAGE THERE YOU BASTARDS!!!! SCREW YOU ALL TO HELL!!!! 47 yd attempt. Who cares? Great game. HE MISSED IT!!!! YEEAAAAHHHH!!! LUCK!!!

--OVERTIME: HAWKS WIN TOSS!!!
11th Hawk: Shaun stuff; near-pick (but a break); THAT'S NOT A FUMBLE; replay challenge...THE REFS ARE COMPETENT!!; 5th three-and-out

12th Pack: dumpoff pass (tipped) misses Green on the blitz; Kacyvenski on the receiver (?) breaks the pass, Favre nailed; On third down...HELL YEAH!! NICE DEFENSIVE STOP!!!

12th Hawk: Engram drops a pass near the first down; 3rd/3...JACKSON FOR THE FIRST DOWN!!; the sweep with Shaun hasn't worked all day (on first down); on 2nd down, Jackson not ready for the ball; pick, touchdown. That's all, folks.

Packers 33, Seahawks 27.

Favre didn't win this game. Crappy way to end it, but there wasn't a turnover until the last play in this game. The better team did not win this game.

I HATE AL HARRIS.

I'm proud of the way the Seahawks played today. I really am. Too many dropped passes and stupid sweep patterns with Shaun that go nowhere though.

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FIRST-HALF GAME NOTES 

Now at halftime, here's my quick-and-dirty game notes from the first half of the Seahawks game, which currently is scored as 13-6 Green Bay.

1st Pack drive: great run stop; Damien Robinson some nice plays

1st Hawk drive: nice run by Alexander to the 10; stacked on 1-2/g though

2nd Pack: missed tackles on Green first run from scrimmage; crappy pass coverage Trufant (Driver); nice two stops of Najeh (he works for "number two") on 1st/2nd down

2nd Hawk: crappy 3/out, I hate Al Harris (Shaun stack); blew a big chance; cheap-ass 26-yd Rouen punt

3rd Pack: Springs nice tackle on the reverse in the backfield (9yd loss) on 2nd/4

3rd Hawk: 3/out; last 8 plays = 7 yards; 3/out and crappy first Rouen punt give Pack great position

4th Pack: CRAPPY coverage on the offside free play (Anderson catch) to the SEA 21 on first play from scrimmage; Simmons batdown on 3rd down, nearly picked

4th Hawk: GREAT first two pass plays to Mili and Engram to start the drive and get some momentum; ball carries second receiver out of bounds (Bannister) for TD; PASS ATTEMPT, NOT A FUMBLE, DAMMIT. Nice spot on the replay. Seattle gets a HUGE BREAK. Robinson drop, DAMMIT.

5th Pack: nice bounce and Pack misplay on the kickoff; NICE damn first play from scrimmage. NICE frigging pass coverage SHAWN SPRINGS, YOU SLOW PIECE OF CRAP. He covered the receiver and not the ball; NICE MISSED TACKLES on Green screen pass. Damn touchdown better not give Pack momentum. Hawks' D solid until this possession, bitten by two big passes.

5th Hawk: nice fumble by special teams on kickoff; nice fumble by Hass and fall by Tobeck (this game might be over as I type this); I think this game really might be ovre (post-Shaun stack); AL HARRIS, I HATE YOU WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING; Willie Williams open-field tackle on kickoff; Hawks 3/out -- three times out of five

6th Pack: Why not just give the game away on a catch in the red zone. Notice something? Jump ball on the first play from scrimmage by the Pack. It works. Favre now has more pass yds than the Hawk game earlier this year. Franks nearly had the ball in the end zone again, if not for Simmons batdown. At least the Hawks D held GB to an FG on the drive. 15 of 25 plays by Hawks for zero yds or less. Great job, guys!

6th Hawk: Morris bear-catch with flags (Koren hands-to-faced on); ALEXANDER DROP you piece of crap. (4th by Hawks); ANOTHER DAMN THREE AND OUT. I LOVE THIS GAME!!!! Koren has inside position and drops it. SCREW YOU, SEAHAWKS OFFENSE!!! I HATE YOU!!

To sum up the first half, the Seahawks dropped five passes, and had FOUR FRIGGING THREE-AND-OUTS by the offense on six possessions. I also don't think it's too much to ask that the Seahawks pound one of those two real scoring chances they had into the end zone. If they do, it's 13-10 at the half right now instead of 13-6. The Seahawk defense isn't doing too bad when they aren't defending the first play of the drive.

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BIGAMY GOES WORLDWIDE 

It's sad my headline has to scream that here, but it does. The main focus of this article by Drew Olson of the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel is the career of Paul Molitor and how it stands for Hall of Fame consideration. It also points out that this may be the only time Brewer fans can see one of their players elected into the Hall of Fame for a long time -- look at their roster now and look how their last decade has gone.

The tidbits at the end of the article tells us this...
[Al Martin] signed with the LG Twins, becoming the first active major-leaguer to join the Korean League. He received a $100,000 bonus and a $100,000 salary with incentives.

Score one for polygamy!

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INSOMNIAC MANIA 

AWWWW...
Drunks and losers,
Dwarves with limps,
Flos and ho's and one-eyed pimps -
Down the alleyway they creep.
They're all your friends when you can't sleep.

Come with me and you will see.
A late-night-freak-show-Jubilee!
Kick the Sandman in his sack;
Stay up late - Insomniac!


I'm feeling it tonight. I can't wait for the Seahawks-Packers game Sunday afternoon.

The haters will understand what we've known all along after the game:

The Seattle Seahawks are a good football team.

And I hope this happens a few times tomorrow as well. Of course, Mr. Randle will have a blue helmet on.

TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS!!!!!!!!!

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STEPPIN UP 

I have to commend Cody at the newly URL'd Mariners Rants and Such for this priceless and somewhat adjusted photo. Priceless.

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